Learning: the [strenuous] process of gaining [precious] knowledge through [continuous] studying (originated by "Collins English Dictionary" and edited by the author).

Below is some background info that I think you might find interesting to read or relevant to understand what I have to offer later. Or, you can simply choose to scroll down a bit and explore 7 things that I've learned from my two-and-a-half-year U.S. college experience, from an international student's standpoint.

Why study abroad?

Maybe every kid once had that “Harvard Dream”. I was 9 when I learned about a Chinese girl from Chengdu, Yiting Liu, got accepted by Harvard College, which was quite uncommon among the very few who chose to study abroad in the 2000s since most people who did go, went for graduate programs. Upon hearing her story, I dreamed about going to Harvard, even though I didn’t know a single thing about Harvard other than its reputation. In my second year of high school, my parents finally agreed to send me to the US for undergraduate, which was a big, tough decision for them, considering that their little daughter would be only 18 and all by herself in a foreign country. Strangely, I was so excited and curious about a different culture that I did not feel any fear or discomfort until I arrived and began my study here. So, the whole “Harvard Dream” thing was my first motive, which was a feeling of admiration for more than its name, but the best education in the world.

How have you liked it so far?

It wasn’t all perfect as I had expected, but overall, the experience was worthwhile. I have seen the library at 3 a.m., sung with a choir on stage, climbed the mountain in a chilly day, made English presentations in front of many, got my first paycheck in life, celebrated real Thanksgiving and Christmas with loving people … and most important of all, met so many different people, whom I would never have encountered had I chosen to go to college in China. Some of them are like shooting stars in the night sky, so bright yet so fleeting; some are like passengers on the same bus, who I see every day but never say “hi”; some are like discordant notes and background noises that I try to avoid; and finally, some have become such an important part of my life, just like family. So yeah, I do have experienced some struggles, e.g. academic, social, identity, relationship, time, etc., but aren’t they just part of life? Happiness won’t be the same without pains and troubles, and one won’t be completed without going through all the hardships and afflictions.

Would you want to stay or leave (after graduation)?

Well, I really don’t know at this point. This is one of the things I have no control over because it mostly depends on who gives me the offer and how good it is. But one thing for sure that I have control over is how capable I am. And I always believe that “opportunities come to those who are prepared”, and that “real gold will shine anywhere”.

Now, in a few seconds, you will see a list of things that I deem important to be successful in a study abroad program. While some of them might seem contradictory to each other, the essence is to maintain a balance between self and others – between your internal world and the external environment.

1. Be Curious and Open-minded

Try not to make quick and easy conclusions. Seeing things that you don’t understand right away doesn’t mean they are wrong, because people might be happy with the ways they do stuff (which always turns out to be the case), and even have kept such lifestyles for several thousand years. Be a good cultural observer by reaching out to the locals, asking questions appropriately, and not trying to “correct” things just because they are not done in your way.

2. Maintain Your Own Uniqueness

While it is important to show your openness to new experiences and willingness to immerse in the culture, it is also critical to bring your unique perspectives to the table. People who make friends with you in the first place are those who truly appreciate your uniqueness but might not fully understand your differences, so don’t be afraid to express who you are and what you think.

3. Be Confident and Assertive

This is especially true to international students from Asia, who have been brought up in cultures that emphasize a lot on humbleness and obedience. Many people will give the idea of “standing out from the crowd” a second thought, or, avoid it as much as possible. Since ancient times, familial, tribal, and societal harmony and order have been kept by individuals submitting to the higher authorities and compromising self-wishes for the group goals. Phrases like “tall trees are more easily bent by the winds” (Chinese: 树大招风) and “the bullets often hit the stand-out birds” (Chinese: 枪打出头鸟) are reflections of the cultural norms to remain silent and same as the rest. While this might work well for people in a collectivist society, it does not necessarily work in others, especially in an individualistic society such as the US. Here, confidence and assertiveness are considered as significant qualities of being successful in any field, which not only leaves a positive impression on people but also eases the process of communication and negotiation.

4. Be Reflective and Thankful

The recognition of others’ value and work is just as important as the recognition of one’s own. Although I don’t have time to thank everyone who has given me a hand when I am in trouble, I do oftentimes reflect on those moments, think about how lucky I am, and learn from these virtues. Let the word of compliment be sincere, not a tool to socialize. Let the act of kindness be voluntary, not just something in return.

5. Spend Time with Family

It was an individual’s natural response to a new environment to try to make friends and blend in. And then, I realized I had not talked with my family in weeks. There were so many reasons why I didn’t contact my family – the tight schedule, the time difference, the desire to be “independent”, the thought that they wouldn’t understand me, and the stress which is the last thing I want to share with them. But as I got more and more homesick, I felt the need to make a call and tell them how much I had missed them. An empty part of my heart was filled; after all, they are the people who know me and love me the most in the world. Even though it was somewhat awkward to make these calls at first, my family and I gradually established a routine by making a call every weekend and knowing what stuff to talk about.

6. Work Hard

For me, the experience of study abroad is not just a cultural immersion opportunity, but more importantly, the whole four-year college experience, which would become one of the most significant phases in my life. At the age of 40, I don’t want to regret on the choices I’ve made today, or complain about how unfair life is after I’ve been given chances to choose the right path and do the right thing. At the age of 40, I want to be fulfilled by what I will be doing and be grateful for the hard-working me at the age of 20.

7. Enjoy Life

At the end, I want to say, no matter what decision you make, be happy with it. There are trade-offs to everything. Forgo what’s not yours and cherish what you have is the key to happiness.