“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Dear Arianna and Araceli, my little ones,

It’s been seven months since I left the comfort of home to pursue a life of mystery and a future. It’s been seven months since I left you. Looking back on it, there’s so much I thought I had time to tell you but never did.

First off, I’m so lucky to be your big sister.

For 12 years, I thought I would live my life out as an only child and not have to share my parents, or anything really, with anyone. I came to terms with the fact my children would never have any aunts, uncles, or cousins, and that they would not know the joys of being spoiled by a loving aunt or uncle. I also came to terms with the fact I would never be able to spoil my future nieces and nephews. But one day I came home from school and I got news that would forever change my life. Nine months later, I was holding a little bundle of pink and crying because I remembered that I was going to have to actually share my parents and everything else from then on (I’m only half joking). Three years later, I did the same thing, except now it was tears of laughter as Arianna now had to do it too. Those 12 years alone taught me that these past six years have been so much better with the two of you kicking and screaming all of the time.

I’m so proud of you.

OK, yes you guys are 6 and 2½, but you both have done some amazing things. Arianna, you’ve become this kick-ass swimmer and hula dancer in such a short amount of time; it’s nothing short of amazing. You’re so loving and kind -- so much more than I ever could be. You show affection as much as others show hatred around the world.

Araceli, you’ve overcome so much in a little less than three years. When doctors diagnosed you with cerebral palsy, we weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to do anything, but every day you prove them wrong. You’re so mobile, we find you on the completely opposite side of the house sometimes. You’re starting to be able to feed yourself, and you’re so happy. I will never be able to express how extremely proud I am of everything you are doing despite being told you probably never would be able to.

You’ve made me a better person.

Six years ago, I was selfish (more so then than I am now), and I looked out for only myself. Since having you both come into my life, I’ve realized that my actions now affect others. Most of my decisions come with the thought “how does this affect Anna and Jelly?” When I decided to leave for college, I broke down because I knew that not only would I be taking a step into my future, but I’d be leaving the two best things to happen in my life. I’d be leaving my little sisters who have kept me grounded since their birth. You both have made me more loving and caring. You both showed me to be happy no matter what comes my way. I will never be able to thank you for the impact you have made on my life, and it’s only been six years!

I will be way more overprotective over you guys than Daddy ever will be.

You two are my first children, and I will never let anyone who hurts you get away with it. I’m probably scarier to people than Daddy will be because I’m “closer” to your age. Also, an angry Latina woman is not a pretty sight. I know what it’s like to go through heartbreak and losing friendships, and it’s not fun. I want to be able to protect you from that.

I’m sorry.

I’m not perfect and I will own up to that now, but I will try my hardest to be a perfect big sister to you guys. I’m sorry if I ever let you guys down.

I love you, more than you’ll ever know.

You guys have been the best things that have ever happened to me, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. Because of you both, I am someone who has been changed for the better. I’m so excited to see what you guys do in the future. I can’t wait to be a part of that journey with you guys. So I’ll say it now because I’ll forget to say it in the future: I love you guys so much.

You guys make me proud to be a big sister, but you guys have also shown me the type of mother I’ll be (which may or may not be a good thing). Thank you for being amazing little sisters and my rocks. You will forever keep me grounded and I will never be able to thank you enough. I hope when you guys learn to read, I’ll remember to show this to you.

With all my love,

Your favorite big sister

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”