5 Things To Remember You Deserve In Your Relationships

5 Things To Remember You Deserve In Your Relationships

Relationships require effort from both sides, no matter what.

234
views

"We accept the love we think we deserve," so the first step to avoiding unhealthy relationships is truly recognizing what you deserve out of any relationship (romantic or platonic). If you know what you deserve, that will boost your confidence, and if you are confident in who you are, what you want, and what you deserve—you will accept nothing less.

I am The Girl who has a close friend who lives far away. I am the girl who prioritizes that friend, and I am the girl who's friend prioritizes her in return. Facetime calls, phone conversations, text messages, even handwritten cards and letters—this relationship works because the effort is put in from both sides.

Conversely; I've been The Girl that a boy told he "really liked but didn't have time for." I've been The Girl who made the mistake of believing him. I've been strung along. I've allowed myself to be tucked in his back pocket and saved for a lonely day. I've waited around for him to "have time for me," and I've allowed myself to get hurt because of my own naivety. I've accepted less than I deserved because I didn't realize that I deserved more. But no more.

I now know what I deserve, and I will accept nothing less. I will be prioritized. I will not be lied to. I will be cared for. I will be heard. I will be understood. I will be loved; wholly and truly loved.

Here's a list of things you should always remember that you deserve in a relationship:

1. You deserve to be treated like the valid and important human being you are

Four hands

This list of what you deserve out of a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, applies to all people. If you are in a relationship that is not equally supported by both parties, then it is not a relationship you need in your life.

"You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are." - Sierra Boggess

2. You deserve to be prioritized

If someone says they are "too busy" for you, what that really means is they are not willing to prioritize you. They may not be lying, it is possible they do not necessarily have time for you, but they should be willing to make time for you and, if they aren't, then that is not a relationship you should be in.

"A person being 'too busy' is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them!" - Mandy Hale

3. You deserve honesty and, at times, tough love

Growth

Tough love is honesty and sometimes it hurts, but tough love is inherently kind because it is rooted in love and care for the other person because it promotes growth and only those who truly love you want to help you grow.

"An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear." - E.A. Bucchianeri

4. You deserve to be cared for and looked after

All human beings have needs. All of your needs are valid. If your needs are not met, or your needs are downplayed, then you are not being treated the way you deserve to be or the way you need to be. You are to be treated with compassion.

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries." - Dalai Lama

5. You deserve to be heard and understood

True love is born from understanding

You deserve to be listened to, not just heard. You deserve someone who cares and wants to know and learn about you, who you are, and what you are feeling. You also deserve someone who just knows; someone who cares enough and pays attention enough to know what you need without you voicing it (but don't expect people to be mind readers all the time).

"The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days." - Lao Tzu

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
283837
views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.

256
views

15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent

Giphy

You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

Personal photo

Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

Personal Photo

Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

Personal photo

They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time

Giphy

Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

Related Content

Facebook Comments