5 Things You Deserve In Relationships

5 Things To Remember You Deserve In Your Relationships

Relationships require effort from both sides, no matter what.

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"We accept the love we think we deserve," so the first step to avoiding unhealthy relationships is truly recognizing what you deserve out of any relationship (romantic or platonic). If you know what you deserve, that will boost your confidence, and if you are confident in who you are, what you want, and what you deserve—you will accept nothing less.

I am The Girl who has a close friend who lives far away. I am the girl who prioritizes that friend, and I am the girl who's friend prioritizes her in return. Facetime calls, phone conversations, text messages, even handwritten cards and letters—this relationship works because the effort is put in from both sides.

Conversely; I've been The Girl that a boy told he "really liked but didn't have time for." I've been The Girl who made the mistake of believing him. I've been strung along. I've allowed myself to be tucked in his back pocket and saved for a lonely day. I've waited around for him to "have time for me," and I've allowed myself to get hurt because of my own naivety. I've accepted less than I deserved because I didn't realize that I deserved more. But no more.

I now know what I deserve, and I will accept nothing less. I will be prioritized. I will not be lied to. I will be cared for. I will be heard. I will be understood. I will be loved; wholly and truly loved.

Here's a list of things you should always remember that you deserve in a relationship:

1. You deserve to be treated like the valid and important human being you are

Four hands

This list of what you deserve out of a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, applies to all people. If you are in a relationship that is not equally supported by both parties, then it is not a relationship you need in your life.

"You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are." - Sierra Boggess

2. You deserve to be prioritized

If someone says they are "too busy" for you, what that really means is they are not willing to prioritize you. They may not be lying, it is possible they do not necessarily have time for you, but they should be willing to make time for you and, if they aren't, then that is not a relationship you should be in.

"A person being 'too busy' is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them!" - Mandy Hale

3. You deserve honesty and, at times, tough love

Growth

Tough love is honesty and sometimes it hurts, but tough love is inherently kind because it is rooted in love and care for the other person because it promotes growth and only those who truly love you want to help you grow.

"An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear." - E.A. Bucchianeri

4. You deserve to be cared for and looked after

All human beings have needs. All of your needs are valid. If your needs are not met, or your needs are downplayed, then you are not being treated the way you deserve to be or the way you need to be. You are to be treated with compassion.

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries." - Dalai Lama

5. You deserve to be heard and understood

True love is born from understanding

You deserve to be listened to, not just heard. You deserve someone who cares and wants to know and learn about you, who you are, and what you are feeling. You also deserve someone who just knows; someone who cares enough and pays attention enough to know what you need without you voicing it (but don't expect people to be mind readers all the time).

"The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days." - Lao Tzu

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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15 Steamy Summer Date Ideas That Won't Burn Through Your Bank

Don't let date night get repetitive this summer...

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With a new season, comes new opportunities for super fun date ideas to keep your love life fresh and fun. I'm sure your favorite brunch place is great, but why not take advantage of the beautiful weather and try out some new things with your significant other this summer?

1. Go to the farmers market.

There is something so refreshing about walking through a farmers market. How could you not be happy when surrounded by fresh fruit, coffee stands, and live music? This is such an easy way to get some sunshine and grab some AMAZING food. My farmers market used to have everything from freshly pressed lemonade to waffle sandwiches. If you want to take the date a step further, find a recipe before you go, and buy fresh ingredients to cook a yummy dinner together later that night.

2. Tie-dye matching T-shirts.

Tie-dye is messy, so take advantage of the beautiful weather and head outside where things can get as messy as you want! What a cute little date souvenir too!

3. Late night ice cream run.

Ice cream is cool and everything, but something about ice cream in the middle of the night seems way more adventurous than a mid-day scoop. And the only time of the year that its going to be warm enough out to get ice cream late at night is, of course, summer!

4. Draw with chalk.

Honestly, your possibilities with this are pretty endless. Drawing contests, hop-scotch, make a masterpiece together, whatever your heart desires. Bring a speaker and maybe some bubbles too while you're at it, sometimes embracing our inner child is a necessary, grounding experience.

5. Throw a barbecue.

Who says spending time together is limited to only the two of you? Cooking together for your friends can be great bonding time too. Invite the crew and spend the afternoon outside at a park or in a backyard. Bring some music and maybe some activities like frisbee or kickball and enjoy some beautiful social time.

6. Take partner dance lessons.

Salsa, tango, swing, rumba, foxtrot, your opportunities are endless. Nobody is saying you have to be good, but how fun will it be to have some new moves to show off next time you and your friends go out dancing or to a concert?

7. Float down a river.

Go with just the two of you or bring some friends, either way, this is a perfect way to spend a few hours out in the sun while staying cool in the water!

8. Take your dogs to the dog park.

Parks are already fun, but when they're full of dogs they're about a million times better! Also, who doesn't love watching their significant other play with puppies?!? It doesn't get cuter than that.

9. Go cliff jumping.

In a safe spot, of course! You know what they say, you should do something that scares you every day...

10. Go on a road trip

A road trip is perfect because it's not as huge of a commitment as going on a real vacation together, but it's still a good little getaway where you are sure to bond a ton. You will have the whole car ride to talk and jam out to each other's favorite songs, how could that not be a grand time?

11. Get artsy and do a photoshoot.

Even if you're not a photographer, its kind of fun to get creative with a camera! Pick a spot somewhere nearby with cool scenery (try golden hour for extra gorgeous photos) and be each other's models. It will be a nice simple date, plus you will get some good Insta content!

12. Go to a sports game.

Plan ahead and get some tickets to go see a sports game in your town or one nearby! Sports games have such a fun upbeat atmosphere, plus fun food, and they're a good excuse to get decked out in fun fan gear!

13. Go mini golfing.

SUCH a cute and fun date idea. Mini-golfing dates never fail to bring out peoples silly sides. Why not make it a competition? Loser buys ice cream for the two of you when you're finished.

14. Go rollerblading.

OK, this one scares me personally, but for anyone with the athletic ability to attempt this, I fully encourage (and envy) you! What cuter sight to see than the two of you holding hands gliding down the city walk together? Just please wear your pads!

15. Have a car wash.

I don't mean go to the car wash together! I mean break out the speaker, the buckets, the sponges, the hose, and get soapy and silly together in the sun. Who knew cleaning could be so much fun?!

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