A picture of my favorite view and words I wrote relating it to my feelings of uncertainty towards leaving everything I have ever known to go to college.

I eat Existential Angst for breakfast.

The right words don’t come to mind. Then again, right thoughts don’t either.

What is one supposed to think while looking at the most indescribable sight? I sit on sandy steps with salt on my feet, my tongue, in my hair, my nose; and there is a whole world continuing it’s rotation.

Existence in all it’s naked beauty.

There is slate water as far as my eyes can see. Water until the earth curves and the waves must leave my eyes to accommodate the ocean floor.

The dull roar of waves should fade. But, how can one ignore the soundtrack of the earth? The melody of life and all that takes part in it? Even the seagulls, with their piercing calls, add to the ambiance.

I am discontent. I don’t know where I’m going, where I will end up. I can not tell you what life has in store for me. Whether or not my existence means anything. Whether it will ever mean anything. And, if it does, whether I will ever discover what that may be. My fate is as uncertain and mysterious as what lies beyond the horizon of the Atlantic. Right now, I am not blind. But what comes after the waves fall from my sight? What occurs beyond the curve of the globe? What can’t I see?

Why am I looking out so far in the distance when there is such a beautiful shore directly in front of me?

There are patches of good in this life. Like when the clouds break, make way for the penetrating light that cascades down from the universe. Free-falling until, finally, it slows down and gently finds it resting place on top of the water. It stains the ocean silver. From what corner of the universe does this light appear? Is polishing the ocean it’s sole purpose? Will it still be there to brighten up the world tomorrow?

Why am I thinking so much about light?

The sky is pink now. The distance turns rosy signaling the finale of the sun’s daily performance. Soon, the curtain will fall. Darkness will once again shroud my view as it does so regularly. After all, good things can't always be seen. Darkness may occasionally dim beautiful sights. It will dress all that presents itself to me, until, from behind the horizon will appear a moon. A moon as silver as the waves it will peer out from behind for it is the same enigmatic light that colors it, too.

I can't be so worried.

I don’t know what the future holds.

But, I believe it might be as beautiful as the sight in front of me for the Now is as beautiful as the sight in front of me. And, it is okay that all I can see is the Now because I trust that that beauty will persist beyond the place where the water falls.

And, perhaps a moon will appear from my darkness, it’s silver light staining the waves in the same way as the day once did. Maybe things won't be so bad in the darkness. To sit here and occupy my mind pondering the night and whether or not light will come tomorrow would be robbing myself of the exquisiteness before me today. I'm ready for tonight because when it comes, I won't think too much in the blackness, I'll just look for the moon and stars to keep me going until the new day emerges from beyond the skyline and meets me at my shore.

But, in case it doesn’t immediately, and the clouds are too dense, and the silver does not reappear right away:

I must learn to give off my own light, so that I may continue to see.

And I must learn to trust in the Universe, so that I may continue to hope.