Fall is sneaking up on us again. Which means new professors.
And with new professors come a new set of rules and learning which professors to keep and which to drop. Almost every professor says the same exact thing at one point.
I know that I've heard them all, so here all the all the quotes that almost every professor will say during the first week of classes.
1. Welcome to the first day of class, now lets jump into the first lecture.
This is single handily the worst quote that can come out of a professor's mouth. Insert unanimous groan from the class.
2. Any question that you have can be answered on the syllabus
You'll see this in email form and here it every time someone asks any questions
3. You have a test at the end of the week
As soon as you hear this, you know that you're in for a long semester.
4. If I see your phone, I'll take it
I'm not 100% sure if this is actually legal, but it happens more than you'd imagine.
5. You don't have to come to class but, there is an attendance grade
You get so exited when you hear the first half that you almost miss the second half of the sentence.
6. If everyone gets an A than I'm not doing my job
I never understand why professors say this, but it makes half the class leave thats for sure.
7. The person to your left or right will drop this class by midterms
Every STEM professor at least twice a semester.
8. Your lowest test score will be dropped
This is the best sentence in whole world
9. The only grades for this class are one paper and one test
You've already started looking for other classes before you're even out of this one
10. Technology isn't really my strength
I'm not really sure how this one happens, but theres always one.
11. Anyone know how to work this screen, I lost the controller
This same question will be asked at least once a week for the rest of the semester
12. I live an hour away so there is no reason that I should beat you to class
You'll still walk in late everyday.
13. All your grades will be imputed at the end of the semester
This is the worst because you actually have to wait until last minute to know if pass or fail.
14. You can only ask questions during office hours
No one actually goes to office hours, so you just go through the whole semester with unanswered questions.
15. If you bring me coffee, your grade may get bumped up
Theres always one professor who is not against bribery.
16. There is no extra credit in this class
Extra credit makes the world go round, so why is there always professors that say no extra credit.
17. Let's make this the best semester yet.
This could either be a great thing or the worst thing. There is no in between.
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