No matter how much we disliked our parents breathing down our neck from time to time, or following their rules, home was the place we always felt comfort and love. Our hometown friends were the ones we thought we’d have for life. I mean, can life really become better after high school? The answer is yes, it definitely can.
We all know that life changes when you move away to college, but it isn’t until you come back home for the first time (or the 10th) that you realize just how different your life has become in the time you’ve been away. You ask yourself questions you may not have before, and you feel a tad unsure of who you are.
How do you talk to you parents?
Can you tell your mom, who is basically your best friend, about the crazy and slightly unsafe things you might be doing at college? You probably wouldn’t have told her when you were in high school, but you’re not anymore, so what you decide to say, or not say, is a confusing decision to make. Do you just play along when your parents continue to talk to you like a child, as if you are still 14 and don’t have any useful knowledge of your own? Sure, they have more experience than you and know a multitude of facts, truths, and other information you don’t because they have been alive longer than you. But you are an adult now who is learning on their own, at least kind of... You’re working on it, anyways. When does one really become a true adult?
Are you independent or not?
You’ve been alone and on your own for a while now. Sure, it was oddly weird and most definitely scary the first couple of weeks you were gone, but now you have learned to fend for yourself. When you arrive back home, it’s almost as if you’re a kid again because you still are in your parents eyes. That doesn’t mean you let them micromanage you again, does it? All this time you’ve been away, all choices have been made solely by you. There hasn't been anyone to tell you what you can or can’t do. And now you have your parents seemingly observant of everything you do again and you no longer feel like the independent adult you were becoming.
What is the meaning of “home” anyways?
Home is a word we grew up associating with the house we lived in with our parents. It was where we were safe, where we could relax. It meant shelter and food, love and laughter. But now, having moved away from the home you grew up in, it’s hard to say where home is. Is it where your parents are and where you are always welcome? Or is it where your friends are? Where you feel the most comfortable being yourself? Is it where you’re free to walk around half-naked without the fear of being seen? Is it where you finally get to make decisions for yourself? It’s a tough thing to decide what and where home is. You may feel like you don’t have a true home, or that you have many. I don’t quite have the answer myself, and I’m not sure when I will.
You start to feel thankful for the little things.
You’re most likely sleeping in your old room that is filled with memorable items from your past that make you feel safe (or cringe, depending on what it is). We don’t always want to remember what we were like pre-college. You’re most likely going to be showering in a bathroom filled with 15 bottles of random shampoos, conditioners, and body washes, if your family is anything like mine. Your kitchen will be stocked with all sorts of goodies you can’t afford on a college budget. Plus, who doesn’t love a home-cooked meal?
You begin falling into old routines.
Before you left for college, you may have hung out with the wrong crowd, or ignored your physical and mental health, but being away, you began to better yourself. You made sure you got the time you needed to relax and recuperate from stressful tests or relationship problems. Because, let’s face it: your life becomes 10 times more stressful after you leave home. You met people who became your closest friends. They were good for you and made you feel cared for, because if you were stretching yourself too thin, they’d be there to tell you so. Maybe you developed a newfound love for the gym, hiking, biking, or anything else you hadn’t really pursued in your life before. But, if you’re anything like me, when you get back home you seem to lose all motivation for those activities and just want to slack off like you used to when you were in high school, and it’s a hard habit to break.
You may realize you're losing friends.
This is the biggest of them all. The minute you left your hometown and realized you were leaving your past behind, you knew you would be losing your high school friends. The only problem is that you didn’t think at the time that you would be losing your new college friends the moment you left and headed back home for the summer. You’ve now lost your friends twice, the old and the new. You wonder and hope more than ever before that you won’t become as distant with those friends from college as you did the ones from home. But the truth of it is, you will probably lose a few of them. Distance can put a huge strain on friendships, and I’ve found that to be the hardest thing to deal with.
Leaving home can be hard, and a lot of things change after high school. But can't that be a good thing?
