Have you ever held onto beliefs that you wanted so badly to be real? Like the tooth fairy? Santa Clause? Life having an actual purpose? I think we have all been there.
Until recently, I held onto another one of those myths. I believed that at one point in my life, I would feel like an adult. I have yet to experience that.
Do you remember being 12-years-old and so damn salty about not being 18 yet, so you could finally get your driver's license and be done with being so dependent on other people? Oh, wait, that was an experience for me in Germany. Or, what about the time you flung your keychain into a tree because you wanted to play catch with it? Oh, that was also just me? My bad.
Here is something many of us held onto as kids: Once we are older, we will be able to do what we are supposed to do.
It is a lie. Abort mission. Don’t believe anyone.
There are so many logical mistakes in this belief that it puzzles me how we all have been believing this for years, without questioning it. The one thing I have learned so far is that always, without exception, everything that requires change will be a process and not an event. Granted, everyone changes every second, but this change is so slow it takes more time to see it. Surprised, you will freeze and realize you didn't put yourself down for not being “insert verb–y enough”.
Similar to the tooth fairy and Santa Clause, many adults try to protect us and tell us white lies to keep us in a bubble a little bit longer, to lengthen our joy as naïve children. Why wouldn’t a parent believe that their child is special? It takes no rocket science to realize that nearly all parents think their offspring is the new wonder child. That is charming and oh so sweet, but also comes to the prize that one day we'll wake up and notice that the world suddenly sees us as an adult and expects us to function as one.
I have been living the stress of “Suppose To’s.” I am 27-years-old and a senior in my major. I am not your traditional student. I am older and I am struggling with all these thoughts of, “How many of my friends are in their masters or already work? How am I still living off my parents? How are they further than me?”
In the recent months, I have come to a conclusion. It shouldn’t matter where I am and where others are. Everyone's life path is different. I can’t judge the path they are walking because I have not worn their shopping-sweatpants.
I am where I am because I choose to be here.
This sentence does not mean that it is your fault if you are in a bad spot. Let me repeat: If you are in a bad situation, then it’s not your fault. It is what happened to you, even when your past self-made this mistake.
Remember that you are never what you have done. Did you maybe do a bad thing? That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you someone who made a mistake but is there to deal with it.
When I say, “I am where I am because I choose to be here,” it means that I am in the present moment and ready to find a solution to the best of my abilities and seek for help if I can’t solve it.
“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.” -- Charles R. Swindoll
Don’t get me wrong. I still feel like I am 13-years-old sitting on my brother’s bed and watching "Dragon Ball Z" with him. I still love to pretend I am a teenager when I am at home with my mom and she brings me snacks. It will always be a part of me and I never want to stop feeling like a kid.
To be an adult doesn’t mean being of a certain age. Being an adult means you have a resilient attitude toward life; it is not defined by your age. Everyone handles their life differently. So in the future, don’t be so hard on yourself, give yourself some slack and clap yourself on the shoulder for a job well done.
You are on a journey; you are not watching a horse race.
I am here to tell you that it is going to be OK. You have all the abilities you need. Where you are now is where you need to be. "Suppose To’s" are needs you think you have while they might not always be the wants you need.
As a little closing anecdote, when I was young, I wanted to be an adult so badly. But recently I have realized that it is a lot of fun to still jump into your parents’ bed to wake them up and annoy the heck out of them.
