When I was in 2nd grade, my teacher looked at me through cloudy glasses, with a furrowed brow, and said, "Erin, you've really changed this year." I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

In 4th grade my guidance counselor told me I was different from the other girls and I understood more than them so I must be gentle. I didn't want to soften myself in order to get along with people my age.

In 5th grade my teacher told my mom in a parent-teacher conference that I was very bright and there was something special about me, but in 6th grade I found myself friendless and struggling to fit in.

In 7th grade my teachers called my mom into school to tell her I seemed to have a general unhappiness weighing on me at all times and it was noticeable to the point of worry. I told my mom I "just had a resting bitch face" and then cried in my room quietly so she wouldn't know there was something wrong.

In 8th grade my English teacher called me "her favorite enigma."

In 10th grade my history teacher pulled me out in the hallway to ask if I was okay on a monthly basis and I said "I can handle it."

In 11th grade my dancing teacher drunkenly admitted that "I was special. Spiritual or something. Born with something else. Intuitive."

When I graduated high school a good family friend of mine got me a graduation card with fish drawn on it. There was one fish swimming in the opposite direction of the rest. She wrote my name on that fish and told me that "it's good to be different."

Last night my mom said, "I've always said you were born in a different time" and I knew what she was saying because it was what all these adults have been saying to me all my life. In a colloquial term, most people would refer to me as an "old soul."

I understand this term to mean that I can understand certain situations as if I have lived through them. Sometimes it feels as of I'm 85 years old and reflecting on a rich, eventful lifetime and have come out the other side. For me this means that I have always gotten along with people older and wiser than me because I find that they have more to offer than people my own age. I am able to connect with people (mostly middle-aged moms) and their situations in a way that I cannot with my peers; whatever age they may be.

*Don't worry, I also extremely lack wisdom in other areas of life (science, math, self control, and consuming the right amount of alcohol on a Saturday night). I am in no way boasting and/or proud about the odd age of my soul.*

But growing up, it wasn't until 12th grade when I finally became aware of my "old soulness" after reading Frankenstein. I felt like Mary Shelley was talking to me personally when she wrote, "There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand."

But after 20 years of living, I've begun to understand. Here's what I know:

The constant conflict of having a mismatched soul and body is one that makes normal relationships different especially when I was younger and unable to understand or appreciate my "old soul." This made it challenging to understand and/or like other kids as I was turned off by their seeming lack of that "something special" that I was seemingly born with.

Similarly, I thought too much. I worried too much. I empathized in an unhealthy way. I was frustrated with others who found friendships and communication easier than I. I was unable to channel my so called wisdom into something productive and cathartic. It sucked a while and I honestly was/am unbearable at times.

Then it was amazing for a while. I had the ability to string my twisted thoughts into beautiful words. I transformed my empathetic spirit to feel the joy of others while learning to block out the hate and judgement (ehhhhh, usually). I found like-minded individuals and role models. I found books and TV shows and the other "old souls" in my life. I dove deeper into the benefits of my knowledge and worked to develop the personality traits that come foreign to me like tolerance.

Everybody has things in their soul which they do not understand at times. It is frustrating, beautiful, difficult, and empowering. It is my greatest strength and greatest fear. It has been a blessing and a curse, but as I get older, being an "old soul" is becoming pretty darn cool.