**Disclaimer: This article is a satire**
There has been a shocking movement taking place at College of the Holy Cross. Students across the campus have been protesting the college’s decision to put up a new cross on top of Hogan Center. When asked about the unveiling of the new cross the college was quoted as saying, “We believe the addition of another cross, specifically on the Hogan Center, will be a great way to disenfranchise large numbers of non-Catholic Holy Cross students.” The college had no idea the blowback their actions would generate. Students rallied to the Hogan Center to set up a counter-movement to raise awareness of their discontent.
In the lobby outside Cool Beans, students set up camp. They sat at a table surrounded by several passionate signs to illustrate their point. One of the signs read, “Why do I want to take down the cross? Because it represents oppression.” Another read, “Why do I want to take the cross down? Because religion has no place on a college campus.”
Within hours of the protest, the college was forced to issue an apology. A member of the administration sent an email to the entire study body in which he said, “I regret the controversy that came from the decision to put up a cross on Hogan Center. Therefore, we have decided to place an anti-cross adjacent to the catholic symbol to demonstrate our mission to support all other religions and beliefs.”
However, the protesters were not satisfied. They argued that putting up an anti-cross was not enough. The college needed to put up the symbol of every religion, and their opposites, to perpetuate completely equal representation.
I confronted several students in Hogan to ask their opinions. One student said, “I don’t care what the college does in the privacy of its own home, but I don’t want to see it out in public.” Another student, in a fit of rage stated, “Frankly I’m offended.When I decided to come to College of the Holy Cross I thought I would be free from religious tyranny. No college should force religious values down our throats.”
The college seemed at a loss. They were flustered by the reaction they received, as all they intended to accomplish was the systematic suppression of various opinions on campus. Furthermore, they were unaware at how strongly the student population would feel about the addition of a new cross. I spoke to a very disgruntled administration employee as he was leaving Hogan, and he responded, “I am very surprised people are up in arms about this. We have been honest from the beginning that our mission is to create an environment of fear and resentment among our student body, so I am not sure why they are so angry. Although there have always been counter-movements whenever political organizations set up in Hogan, we were unprepared. For example, when an eco-group made an informational booth on the environment, anti-eco activists started a viral Facebook movement to support polluting businesses and big-oil. When students did the same to support gay marriage, anti-gay crowds gathered on the Hoval to scream them down. And when Black Lives Matter made an appearance, there were masses of protesters who were unafraid of being called racists, and only too eager to voice opposition.”
After reviewing all the facts, I have come to the conclusion that the college has gone too far this time. They have shown a lack of respect to their students and they should silence their opinions immediately to quell the problem. In fact, the only permanent solution I can think of is to rename the school—College of The.
