We've come a long way as human beings, but it is an understatement to say that there is a double standard as old as time that I wish would become obsolete already. What I am referring to is the ridiculous double standard about wanting to get married and have children. I have no qualms about marriage. I'm fairly open to it. However, I absolutely, positively do not under any circumstances want to have a child at any point in my life.
If a man says he doesn't want children, people do not have a hard time wrapping their minds around that. Maybe he wants to focus on his career or is not the commitment oriented type. He's a "life-long bachelor" and that is just fine. On the other hand, if a woman says she doesn't want children, people tend to recoil from her as if she's committed a deadly sin. What of my goals and ambitions in life? Why does my not wanting children make me come across as selfish or frigid while a man not wanting children is no negative reflection on his character? Perhaps I am selfish for not wanting to completely put my dreams, wants, and needs on the back burner to begrudgingly bring a baby into the world that I don't want in the first place. Well, if that is the case, I accept that label gladly.
Not every woman is naturally maternal or nurturing. I, for one, am not maternal at all. I can barely take care of my own needs. I cannot be expected to also be responsible for the safety and welfare of a codependent child. I do not sleep enough as it is. I would not do well with being woken up by a crying baby in the dead of night. You have to really filter what you say around kids for fear of them repeating your words. I barely have that filter around anyone, let alone a child. I am very blunt and do not like to censor myself for anyone. Sure, I can be professional when the situation calls for it, but in my own home, I do not want to have to worry about Mini Me developing a potty mouth. I can't imagine spending all my money on their diapers, their clothes, their medical expenses, etc. Do you know how many concert tickets,Taco Bell tacos, Funko Pop dolls, songs, or t-shirts I could buy with that money? Almost everyone is so concerned about a woman's ticking biological clock. Why? Are you going to be the one pregnant? Are you the one pushing the baby out? Are you the one raising it? It may not always be intentional, but it seems like everyone is so ready to jump at the chance to tell women what we should do with our bodies.
On a final note, just because I do not want children does not mean that I hate them or that I am going to act like an absolute monster around them. I am actually protective of kids and think that they deserve happy, fun-filled childhoods. They are fine in small doses and I am relatively good with them, but at the end of the day, I am glad to go home to curl up with my cat and read a good book or binge watch American Horror Story.
