These last few months have been something else. The beginning of my sophomore year started off really easy. Almost too easy. I knew my friend group. I knew exactly what route I would take to get to my classes. I knew when I would get lunch and with whom. I was so comfortable. I knew my schedule of things I needed to do in a day and when they needed to be done. Everything was figured out. Then these last two months hit.

I think as life begins for young people, we start focusing more on what is expected of us rather than the choices we have. We are blinded by the thought of adulthood and forget we are still young. I know two months ago I was upset with a friend because we had not hung out in at least a month. I just figured if she wasn’t making the time for me, then I must not have been something that was a priority. I expected her to be available. Not even two weeks later my other friend asked me to get dinner. Notice, it’s a very similar situation because I had so much homework, not to mention a test the next day. I said yes because I felt I was expected to say yes. Yet, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think about the friend who had said no to me multiple times and how at that moment I was jealous of her.

While I was sitting at the dinner table with my friend, I remember thinking in my head how busy I had been the last two months. I was juggling so many things and trying to give each of them my full attention. What I didn’t realize was you can’t give your all to six different things because they’re all only getting a part of your full potential. It was starting to really affect my happiness. I wanted to hang out with my friends, but I was expected to work during the weekend when they were finally free.

Young people are preached to every day by their elders that life is so short and that these are the fun times. To us, we see it as a really difficult transition. We are going from home-cooked meals, not paying rent, and having a loving family to come home to — to constant fast food, a roommate who we may or may not get along with and the responsibility of paying our bills on time. On top of that transition, there is also a transition occurring mentally. School is getting harder. Grades are starting to matter a little bit more. Yet, the “fun times” that these older people keep mentioning seem to have turned into one of the most difficult times in your life.

What I have learned from these last two months is that you have to choose a few things that make you happy and stick with them. You have to know that these “expectations” are not only from other people, but ones that you are putting in your mind too. You have the control to change whatever situation you are in, regardless of what is expected of you.

These are the fun times. Set time aside for yourself because after a while those expectations will pile up and weigh you down. Learn to say no and take a day for yourself. Take a day off work just to hang out with your friends. Learn a different language, or experience life in the way that you’ve always wanted to. Nothing is truly holding you back. These are the years to explore and find yourself. Don’t let the illusion of expectations blind you from the experiences that you may be missing out on.