There is immense beauty in the struggle.
In his song, “Love Yours,” rapper J Cole said it best:
“I grew up in the city and though sometimes we had less
Compared to some of my n****s down the block man we were blessed
And life can't be no fairytale, no once upon a time
But I be God damned if a n**** don't be tryin'”
There is an immense disparity between the social classes and different groups of socioeconomic statuses in the United States. The older I get, or maybe the more my horizons have expanded, the more apparent it is to me.
Growing up in Brooklyn New York, generally everyone who I was surrounded with were relatively of the same lower class and income. Therefore, I never really thought about or witnessed how much different it can be and how different it is in other more affluent places, even throughout the city.
I moved to Silver Spring, Maryland five years ago.
Moving to Maryland and suddenly being surrounded by people who were of significantly higher classes and income than me was like a slap in the face. Clearly I was aware of the differences in income but I was so used to my peers being in the same boat that I was. I’ve met people in Maryland who have never been on public transportation, whereas I have been taking the public buses and trains to school since I was eleven years old. I will never forget a time, freshman year of college, when a friend of mine made a comment so ignorant that it still stings: “food stamps are for lazy people who refuse to get off of their butts and work for themselves and their families.” That hurt seeing as when we were in NYC my family needed food stamps to eat.
My family and I have been on government assistance since I was little. My mother was an extremely hard worker raising six girls all on her own. She was a social worker who did not make much, but she did what she could. Yes, we received stamps but it wasn’t because my mother was lazy or insubordinate. It was because of the single mother circumstance with an underpaying job and seven mouths to feed. Comments like the one my friend made are so ignorant and just show how thick the line is between those who receive and those who don’t. It also shows how those who receive government assistance are viewed so negatively and clumped into one group.
Don’t get me wrong I do understand where my friend was coming from. I have met multiple people the way in which he described: People who spend their welfare money on drugs; people whose fridges are empty and children are hungry; people that make me sick. I really wish others on the outside would understand that not everyone who receives government assistance is like that.
Today my family no longer receives assistance from the government and it has actually taken a negative toll on our lives. My mother lives paycheck to paycheck and although we are all in school her salary just is not enough to fully provide for us, and unfortunately sometimes food is very minimal. She makes just over the amount that qualifies someone for food stamps and it really sucks sometimes.
I have seen so much growing up. Although it would be easier having money I don’t regret a thing. I don’t wish for what I don’t have. My struggle has made me into the person I am today. On the outside looking in to our family, no one would even guess at how low income we are. My mother raised six beautiful, healthy, and successful women. One college graduate form Penn State University who is now in grad school, one Frostburg State University student, one Stevenson University student, one at Towson on the pre-med route and one a sophomore in high school. We all get excellent grades and participate in many extracurricular activities.
Six young girls growing up in Brooklyn, NY with a busy single mother we could have turned out so differently. We could have turned out as products of our environment and that I am thankful that we never did. It’s easy to watch the snap stories of my friends in Gaithersburg, for example, who live in their huge houses go on family cruise vacations, have the money to travel at young ages and feel envious, but I refuse to feel envious any longer. When I am older and financially stable and comfortable and raising my own children in a healthy two parent home and when I can provide for my children the way in which my mother unfortunately couldn’t provide for us, I will look back on my childhood and growing up and recognize that there is beauty in my struggle.
“Love Yours” says rapper J Cole. Love what you have, strive for more but remain appreciative and humble. I’ve seen a lot and I honestly believe my struggle has made me a stronger more open-minded and open hearted person. I am not in a box, I do not generalize those on government assistance I do not generalize everyone in the lower class because I understand that sh** happens. I understand how unfortunate life can be and those born into higher working or middle class comfort don’t realize these things, and probably never will. People who never struggle don't appreciate it when good things happen to them. I believe my struggle has granted me humility, patience, and appreciation for the simple things. So when I hear my friends who I know are very well off use the phrase “the struggle is real” I chuckle to myself and say yes, it is realer than you know and hopefully will ever know.
