Thanks to "The Perks of Being A Wallflower," the best-selling novel by Stephen Chbosky, written over 20 years ago, the word "wallflower" has been added to our vocabulary to describe a shy person who's observant, but keeps to themselves. It's used as a term of endearment and people should be complemented if someone calls you one. If you're a fan of the book, there may have been a part of you who related to Charlie--the book worm, wise behind his years, who would do anything for his friends. But a wallflower is not a fictional creature, we all know one. And in this big community I'm currently a part of called college, I would consider myself one.
I was doomed to be a wallflower from the start: I transferred my sophomore year and was always on the shy side. I observe better than I communicate. I listen to the conversations being had in a quiet classroom, I look at the people I walk by and wonder about who they are and what their story is. But I don't think anyone at a college party would raise their Solo cups for a toast to me being a wallflower like in the book. College wasn't made for wallflowers, it was made for wildflowers.
So, what are these so-called "perks" of being a wallflower? If you're like me and Charlie, you sometimes wonder if there are any perks at all. Entering the college world for the first time, I felt like a wallflower more than ever. It was as if I was thrown into the deep end and I didn't know how to swim. But I was lucky enough to hang on and made a few friends, but none that I would consider lifelong. I wanted, more than anything, to find a college best friend, flash-forward two years as a senior and I find that it's too late. Charlie found his pack within two weeks of his freshman year, I didn't.
This isn't a blog post to make you feel sorry for me. Because here's the thing: I have best friends. They might not attend my school, but I talk to them all the time. I even have a twin sister, which is the best type of friend anyone can have. That's the perk of being a wallflower. Even with your back against the wall and when you feel alone, there's someone you can always turn to.
When you find these people that you connect with, whether it be a friend, or a a boyfriend, or girlfriend, hold onto them for dear life. Because you study everyone, you can spot a good person from across the room. You know how rare a good friend can be.
Charlie described the life of a wallflower better than anyone else. We do accept the love we think we deserve. We feel infinite when we're with the people we love. And we know we don't have the power get to choose where we come from. But we can certainly choose where we go from there.
