When I was younger, my friends would always flood me with questions on why my last name differed from my parents. The odd stares I received from the children of traditional families are forever embedded in my memory whenever I recall first explaining to them that my Dad that picked me up from school everyday that they saw was actually my Step-Dad.
"Oh okay, so he's not your real dad."
No, that wasn't what I was trying to tell them at all. You see, too many children have burned into their minds that their biological parent is and will forever be their true, real parent. This could not be further from the truth.
I was fortunate and blessed with not one father-figure, but two. The reason I use "father figure" instead of "real dad" and "other dad" is because I do not want to differentiate the two. I don't want one on a higher pedestal than the other. I don't want one to possess something the other will never have. I love them both. I adore them both. That is how it should be.
Genetics does not bind you to someone. A parent comes in all shapes and sizes, and they don't have to share the same blood as you to be your whole world.
I have seen new show pilots recently about happy, blessed adopted children dedicating their lives to finding their "real" parents. This rubbed me the wrong way. Now, I completely understand the need to discover who gave birth to them and why their biological parents chose to release them into the system and ultimately put them up for adoption. I do not like, however, when some do this simply because they see the people that either chose to give them up or had to give them up as more of a parent than the people that actually raised them.
Your adopted parents chose you. They didn't give birth to you and ended up just learning to like you or seem to love you because they feel obligated to like some "traditional" families. They chose you. They chose to make you their world and to build you into the person you are today.
Your step-parent(s) chose you. They had every chance in the world to not marry your biological single parent and not join a home that has already began a family. They have no obligation to love you. They have all kinds of other paths that they could easily take that do not involve you. But they chose you. They chose to raise a child they did not give birth to, and they do so happily. Why? Because in their eyes, you are their real child. You do not differ from their biological children. Your biological parents do not differ from the ones who are not.
Some of us are blessed with two fathers that love and adore them. Two mothers. Two sets of grandparents willing and eager to spoil and love. And some of us born into orphan-hood are blessed with a family or families that chose them, and that give them the love and support every child deserves; that every human deserves.
Don't write off your step-parent or adoptive family as not "real." They are real. Their love is real.
Jesus Christ is not your dad. He is not your brother. He is not your mother's brother. He is not your granddad. He has no genetic ties with you. But guess what? His love is everlasting. He chooses to love you and does so happily. He loves us so much, that he died on the cross for our sins committed and those done long after He was slain on the cross. He chose to love us. His love is real too.
