Let me start off with a simple question.
Who are you at a social gathering? Are you...
A) Standing around with a small group of friends, keeping to yourself?
B) That embarrassing white girl doing The Whip to a song that doesn’t fit in the middle of a crowd of complete strangers?
C) Not having any fun whatsoever because you’re too busy “whispering” way too loudly in the corner as you watch everyone else live their lives carelessly while you’re doing the absolute most to be petty and judgemental?
Orrr
D) Perhaps participating in a screaming match on the front lawn is more your speed.
Either way, if you chose either of the last two answers, you should definitely keep reading, because you’re most likely a Drama Queen. For the remainder of the article I'll be using female pronouns simply for consistency's sake, but the Drama Queen is certainly not restricted to gender.
I’m starting to wonder why the Drama Queen is becoming such an accepted role in society. Is it because it fits so nicely with the commonly accepted social narrative that Women Are Impossible to Live With because they’re stuck in a perpetual state of PMS’ing/clinical insanity/being a shallow princess who only cares about material items and social status? I’m not saying these women don’t exist, but they’re definitely not representative of an entire gender.
Unfortunately, I can conjure up numerous female representations who are known for their theatrics rather than strong, healthy friendships or intelligence or perhaps a sense of humor.
Before we can continue with this discussion, we have to distinguish between two types of Drama Queens: There are the Serena Van Der Woodsens and Marissa Coopers of the world whose psychotic outbreaks are more tragic than malicious. Because face it, we’ve all reached the point of teen angst (and maybe finals week too...) where we could easily throw a psychotic tantrum where we hurl a lawn chair into an infinity pool.
Most of the time, these ladies just have unresolved personal issues leading them to do stupid shit where they genuinely feel remorseful about those they’ve unintentionally hurt.
Aaaand then there’s the Blair Waldorfs who really are just on a creepy power kick where the more souls they crush, the more they feel alive.
But most of these Evil Drama Queens aren’t even self-aware enough to acknowledge how batshit they’re acting.
Interestingly, psychologists have theorized a controversial mental disorder for this particular character- Histrionic Personality Disorder. Now, this doesn’t mean you should go around misdiagnosing every girl who drinks too much tequila and screams at her ex-boyfriend on the lawn of a frat house. It’s important to keep in mind that this disorder statistically occurs in approximately 2%-3% of the American population. But even with more common personality disorders, it’s important to avoid playing doctor and impetuously labeling people with completely serious disorders.
However, the existence or non-existence of Histrionic Personality Disorder doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t have to stand by and willingly allow Drama Queens to wreak havoc for attention just to avoid personally dealing with their psychotic drama.
Here are some red flag characteristics of HPD according to the DSM-IV that you can watch for and hopefully, discourage:
Center of Attention
They will absolutely lose their sh*t if all eyes are not on them. That means pathetically slut-shaming every girl that walks by in a crop top, bodycon dress, or basically any piece of revealing clothing that may direct attention away from their own outfit. Whatever you do, don’t encourage their slut-shaming, unless you want to look as bitter and insecure as them. Nothing makes you hotter than being confident enough to be able to genuinely appreciate the beauty of another girl without viewing them as competition.
Sexually Seductive
They tend to use sex as a tool of manipulation and a means to gain attention. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with casual sex, these individuals’ provocative behavior is typically inappropriate enough to garner a dramatic reaction. Read as: they will probably try to sleep with your significant other/hit on your significant other or do the same with one of your friends’ significant others. Do yourself a favor and do not engage in dramatics as frustrating as this may be. Simply make sure you keep your significant other as far away as possible from any drama-seekers, and leave it at that. If your significant other is worth keeping, they’ll definitely appreciate your level-headedness over any of the Drama Queen's pathetic cries for attention.
Shifting Emotions
One minute she’s whooping over shots and screaming how much she loves everyone, and the next she’s screeching at her best friend for reasons that no one else is sure of. Literally everyone is in a state confusion and no one is bored enough to try and figure it out, so they allow the drama to ensure. Remember, if you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor (Thanks, Desmond Tutu).
Physical Appearance
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to take time to enhance your outer bad b*tch. However, there’s nothing worse than the girl who really only seems to care about her physical appearance. From not-so-humble brags about their glorified anorexia juice cleanses, to fat shaming those they claim to be close to, their obsession with maintaining a flawless veneer is really just too much to handle. Don’t back down while you’re defending your right to eat AND enjoy carbs, leave the premises, and go get yourself a bagel. With cream cheese.
Speech Style
Everything is a hyperbole. In fact, generalizations like that are exactly how they speak. If 95% of their sentences include “everytime”, “always”, or “never,” be wary. Don’t be afraid to question their exaggerations. “Ok REALLY Becky? You’re LITERALLY going to execute her and sell her head on Amazon for 63 cents? Alright.”
Dramatic Behaviors
They’re fabulous storytellers, you have to give them that. In fact, they’re almost nice to have around when you’re bored studying and you need a gossip break. However, they take enthusiastic storytelling to an entirely new and unnecessary level. By the time you’ve heard the same story from more reliable stories, you realize how completely exaggerated their stories are. Next time, don’t accept their fable at face-value and do your fact checking before doing them a favor by spreading their insanity any further.
Suggestibility
While they do plenty of influencing on their own, they’re just as easily influenced. Therefore, if you have a Drama Queen in your life, make sure you’re not an enabler. The second she tries engage in a fight, walk away. I mean that literally. Just get up, collect your things, and exit the room. Warning, they may cut you off completely if you aren’t willing to keep up their facade, but perhaps in that case you should count yourself lucky.
Overestimation of Intimacy
If you’re dating/hooking up with/whatever you want to label it with a Drama Queen, be very, very, very careful. You might just wake up one day with all of your money gone, a very important body part chopped off, and your car on fire if you dare to like another girl’s picture on Instagram.
You may think your actions will have little effect, and perhaps maybe you can't help change the Drama Queens you can't help but love in your own life without the help of mental health professionals. However, at the end of the day, any action (or inaction, rather) you take is still a small step of progress that may just inspire others around you. Be a hero for us all and allow room for a little more normalcy in everyone's lives.
