I've started watching One Tree Hill recently. As all of you One Tree Hill fans know, there are a lot of inspirational quotes that come and go throughout the show, but today I heard something that really touched me.
It was at the end of the season two finale when Peyton's first love must leave town, and she is absolutely helpless as she watches him drive off into the night. She reflects on the past year of her life and states, "Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic, But gaining your heart's desire? That's all you can hope for. This year I wished for love...to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world."
Why are people automatically drawn to the idea that love must be associated with heartbreak? Why does society usually only focus on the negative aspects that the fallen world has come to expect? Why must choosing to love someone--whether it be a romantic interest, a friend, a family member, or a mere stranger--have to come with the assumptions that something will probably go wrong?
We're afraid. Afraid to lay our life--our past mistakes, relationships, and heartaches--onto the table because we hate feeling naked and vulnerable. We run from the idea that love and goodness in people may exist because we are doubtful that anyone can actually love us for who we really are.
Giving our heart to others is one of scariest things in this life. I don't just mean to our significant others. I mean to friends and coworkers and patients and children.
We fear getting attached too easily by letting our guard down.
I used to be that girl--the one that wore her heart on her sleeve and never expected to get burned. After a few heartbreaks along the way, my heart closed and I refused to live life the way I had before.
I became more skeptical and put more boxes around my heart and my capabilities that it took me a good six years to overcome the limitations I had placed on myself.
Love is what got me out. It's what made me realize that heartbreak is real and it hurts, but love is not what causes the feelings that come after being let down. All the things we feel when we hurt are because of timing and our choices.
Our feelings of sadness and anger and bitterness should not define what we had when we loved. These feelings are a byproduct of the things we choose to hang on to.
I don't think that love has to hurt. I believe that although sometimes "tragedy" is the result, that this "tragedy" was probably the one thing that changed us for the better (even though it may take some of us a while to recognize it).
It teaches us when to hold on and when to let go. And it shows us that being open to being vulnerable is the door to life beyond heartache.
And so, "And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy."
--Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill