Ahh, texting: the primary channel of communication for our generation. Texting is great. What could be better than communicating with someone without actually having to talk to them? Texting is quick, efficient, and relatively painless. It's even become much easier to express emotion and tone through texting with the use of emoticons. However, while texting is arguably the greatest thing since sliced bread, there comes a time where it's not so great.
Texting after midnight is a whole different ball game than texting during the day. Certain phrases hold entirely different meaning than they do when it’s light out; alcohol is more likely to be involved, and people start to slip into the dreaded "feels." We've all struggled with at least one of these categories at one point in our texting careers; so I've compiled a guide of what to say in these situations.
1. The classic "you up?" text
All of us girls have fallen victim to the "you up?" text at one point in our teenage lives. This text is perhaps the most lame, most overused booty call of all. If the most creative thing a guy can think of to get you to come over in the middle of the night is "you up?" I would really hope it wouldn't work. These texts are sent by only the laziest of dudes.
How to respond:
"Yes." If you happen to be awake and you receive this message, just say yes. Odds are they'll ask you to come over, and then you can either tell them no or ignore them completely. If you hit them with a "yes," you at least have the opportunity to see if they just want to talk. Maybe the guy just wants to have a heart to heart. It's possible, right?
2. "Can you give me a ride?"
A wise man once created an app specifically for scenarios like this. You should never let a friend drive drunk, but luckily for Uber, you don't have to, and you don't have to leave your bed either.
How to respond:
If you're a good person: tell them to call an Uber.
If you're a super great person: call one for them.
3. "I miss you."
This text could be coming from a wide variety of sources. Your ex-best friend, ex-boyfriend, ex-hook up, etc.
How to respond: the proper response to this is no response at all. They probably don't miss you, but their less-than-functioning drunk brain does. It's usually best to wait until morning to answer this one.
4. "There's someone flirting with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this party."
Holy loss of control! You're all snuggled up in bed with Netflix while someone else is trying to snuggle up to your boo. This is honestly one of the most stressful texts you could ever receive.
How to respond:
If you're sane: "Go distract them!" or perhaps if you're really sane: "I trust them, it's no big deal!"
If you're not sane: you're already on your way to the party with a knife in hand. Warning: this one may have some consequences.
5. "Send me a picture."
He doesn't just like you for your personality. He probably doesn't even know what color your eyes are.
How to respond: No. Just no.
6. "Where are you? -Mom"
This might be the worst one of all. Nothing has the ability to kill your vibe quite like a "Where are you?" text from your mom. This text will sober you up more than any glass of water.
How to respond: It is in your best interest to answer this message as carefully as you can. Don't send anything that will worry her, and especially don't send anything that will make her want to come find you. This text must be answered with more precision than a game of Operation.
If all else fails and you just can't deal with it, just turn your phone off at 11:59 p.m. Living in the moment isn't the worst thing to do sometimes.
