The woman I wish I was

This one goes to the boy that I love, he doesn't know that I love him, and if he does then he honestly probably doesn't care. I want you to know that again I am not the one who did the things that led up to you telling me to stay out of your life, talk to you in a year or two, maybe then I can be yours but for now,

I had to send you that temporary goodbye, so I wrote something up the other night at 4am when I couldn't sleep.

I hope that you read this, and I will forever hope that the girl is me. I know there is still time, I know that I can wait. I will wait for you, but I will not wait to write this to the public because I know there are other girls in this situation.

This one is for the girl who chooses you, and the girl that you choose back.

I hope that she is the prettiest woman out there. I hope she sees you for who you truly are, and I hope that she overlooks all of your flaws, and adores each and every one of them, like I do. I hope that she is in love with Jesus just as much as you are, if she's not, then I hope she comes to see how much you love Jesus, like I did, and she starts her journey towards strong faith. I hope that she sees you through my eyes, as literally the most perfect person that walks this earth. I literally hope she loves you just as much, even more than I do. And I hope her favorite thing about you are your eyes, and your smile, and that perfect personality, I hope they light up her day like they used to light up mine. I hope when you walk into the room that she just can't help but smile, even if she's mad at you. I hope she never starts having a crush on you. I hope she puts up with all your shit, and I hope she never gets tired of it. I hope she learns how to cook all of your favorite foods, and learns how you like your coffee. I hope with everyday that passes, that she falls more and more for you. I hope every morning before you go to work that she kisses you and gives you a big hug, even when shes mad at you, like I would because in today's society you never know when the last time you see someone will be, and when you get home, I hope the first thing she does is greets you at the door, and kisses and hugs you again, because she is thankful that you're home safe and sound. I hope that she never lets you feel unhappy, unloved, or rejected, because I sure wouldn't. When you guys argue over something, I certainly hope that she doesn't let you go to bed upset. I hope she hates seeing you upset just as much as I do, and I hope she makes you laugh all the time. I hope that when you're sad, mad, etc, I hope she feels the want and need to fix that, and tries her best to put that smile back on your face, and I hope that you let her. I hope she never fails to show you her love for you. I hope she treats you like the king that you are. I hope everyday she fan-girls over you, like she just met you. I hope that she wants you for you, and I hope she never tries to change you. I hope she loves you for who you are, and I hope she accepts that. When times get tough financially or even with life, I hope that she fights for you two to be together, and I hope that she stays. I hope she doesn't hold back on telling you her true feelings like I did. I honestly hope that she is the best thing that happens to you, and I hope she never ever breaks your heart. I hope that she knows you aren't just another. I hope that she sees you are one of a kind. I hope you don't settle for anything less. I hope that even if she never liked football, or the lake, or fishing, I hope she sees how much you love them, and I hope she learns to love them through you. I hope she is passionate about the things that you're passionate about, and if shes not then I hope she becomes passionate about them. I hope that instead of fancy dinners, she would rather do something that you like to do, whether it be fishing, going to the lake, or hiking, whatever it may be. I hope that she is able to detect how you are feeling by looking into those baby blues, like I am. I hope that she is everything you ever dreamed of and more. I hope that you live a fairy tale world. I hope she never takes you for granted because God only knows how much I love you, I hope she knows she is lucky that you chose her, because here I am dying for a chance to love you.

I hope that in the end you are truly happy, even if I am not the one who is there to make you happy.

I hope it doesn't have to come down to me telling you goodbye forever, within the next year or two. I hope we get to date soon, I hope you give me one chance.

But before I go, I want you to know that I will forever be wishing to be that one true lucky girl.

Sincerely, from the girl who loves him more than anything on this earth, from the one who never got her shot to even date him.

Maybe,

I will get my chance to call him mine one day.

Soon.

A million words couldn't say just how I feel. I hope that you know a million years from now I'll be loving you still.

I will forever wish that I were the woman you call yours.

I will forever hope it ends up being you & I, in the end, but only time will tell.