Mamaw,
I'm writing this because on Tuesday I found out you were in the hospital for chest pain, and it turned my world upside down. Even though it was a false alarm and you're perfectly fine, for the first time in my life I had to think about what would happen if you weren't fine.
My whole life, you've said, "I'm sorry you have to live with a grandma." But I've never been sorry.
You've always thought I wished I lived with a typical nuclear family: mom, dad, me, sister, both brothers, all in one happy house. But I've never once wished for things to be "normal," because my version of normal is so much better than the alternative.
The way I've always seen it, I'm the luckiest person in the world because my grandmother isn't just my grandmother; she's my guardian, my mamaw, my counselor, my favorite teacher, my role model, my hero, and my best friend all in one. I got to grow up under your wing, and I got to spend every day learning from you. No one I know has had the support system you've given me, and no one I know had it better living with both of their parents.
You didn't ask to get stuck raising another generation of kids, but you did it gracefully, selflessly, and with a smile on your face. You never once made us feel like we were burdening you, or that you wished for anything other than to take care of us.
When times were hard, I never knew that we were struggling. When you were exhausted, I never knew you needed rest. When you were heartbroken, I never knew you were anything but happy because you made sure we were all smiling, and you always reassured me that you were alright. You never pushed me to talk, but you made sure I knew I could go to you any hour of any day. You did more for me than you'll ever realize.
I am who I am because you raised me.
You taught me to be independent, but to not be afraid to ask for help when I need it. You taught me to value education and hard work. You taught me to understand that happiness is more valuable than material things, and that it doesn't matter what other people think of me. You taught me to be stubborn when I believe strongly in something. You taught me to love unconditionally and put others' needs before my own, but to also take care of my needs, too. You taught me that laughter is the best cure for stress and heartbreak. You taught me that nothing is off limits when you're willing to work for it. You taught me that I can't do anything without God.
You taught me everything I know, and I wouldn't change a second of my life, because that would mean I wouldn't have been able to be comforted and supported by you and learn from you every minute of every day.
You are the wisest, most selfless, strongest, most loving person in the entire world, and I thank God every day that I could be raised by you.
When we were in your hospital room and I told you that I couldn't function without you, you told me I was wrong.
You were right.
You raised me to be able to function without you.
But the result is that I don't want to ever have to function without you.
I'm more relieved than I could ever express that your heart is okay and you're just fine. I would spend the night in a hospital chair being woken up every two or three hours with you a thousand more times and not mind a bit, because you've done more than that for me every day of my life.
I love you more than anything.
Thank you.
Love,
Your Favorite Granddaughter
(Kaylie, in case you were in doubt)
(I know you weren't in doubt)