Alright, I know you want to do it...let out the long sigh, with you're quick comments about "political correctness" and "just another feminazi" and "those libs are ruining everything." These comments are from some of the more radical "white men" that I meet in every day life and on the internet. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about all white men. Did you get that? NOT. ALL. WHITE. MEN.
In some ways, it's a pejorative term or clarification that is met with an eye roll. It functions to describe an individual who is white and male. As a whole, some of us use it to describe someone who just doesn't get it.
I've come across some white men who understand the term and when I talk about feminism are sure to shoot back with a, "but I guess I'm just a white man!" Uhh, yes? I'm always hesitant to agree with them, because I know by that point I've already lost them. My goal with feminism is to help people understand why sexism is bad. This means pointing out rape culture, why the lack of representation is a bad thing, and why the point of feminism isn't equality or equal wages--it's to fight back against the sometimes benign ways in which women are systematically oppressed. Its an uphill battle to say the least, and it becomes harder when the people I talk to look at the issue as whether or not it's grounded in reality.
The problem with all of this is that reality doesn't exist. There isn't an objective way to look at the world. We all come at the world with our own experiences that end up shaping how we see the world around us. Which is why the term "white male" shouldn't be a pejorative term. Its really just another way to view the world. But that world view, if not thought through and deconstructed, becomes detrimental to people who are not white or male. Being "white" and "male" are two of the most privileged aspects in our current culture. As a woman, I am privy to street harassment. When I speak about a subject I know very well I am often ignored, whereas if a man speaks about the same thing, he is often believed. I'm not privileged as a woman, but as a white woman I am privileged. I don't get the same type of street harassment that women of color experience. Mine is not as violent. As a white woman, I am more likely than a woman of color to be listened to. As a white woman, I don't want to go full into a discussion about race because its not my place to speak about their experiences. (On that note, one of my favorite people to listen to is Kat Blaque.) The experience of women of color is largely foreign to me, because I can't possibly know about what they experience unless they tell me themselves--or I read/listen about it. But still, this has to come from them. I talk about my experience with race to highlight why privilege is important to recognize. As a privileged person, you cannot know what someone goes through when they are outside of the margins.
Being a "White Male" means that you are typically unaware of issues surrounding people of color and issues that typically surround women. "But I'm poor! I'm not privileged!" You aren't privileged when it comes to class representation (and really, most of us aren't because we live in a capitalist society), but you still have privilege as a white and male person, especially so if you are able-bodied, straight and cis. If you aren't any of those things, the best recourse is to think about how your oppression limits you--and how it would feel if you had triple oppression.
If you're in a discussion about sexism or racism, it's always the job of someone with privilege to recognize their privilege and work on listening, rather than talking. Recently I've had trouble talking to men about women's issues, because it always seems like they want to deny my experiences and tell me what is really going on. At a party recently I was sitting with a guy talking about the latest "freedom of speech" issue on college campuses. I was talking about why trigger warnings are so important for people who may develop feelings of anxiety and panic during certain discussions. He was trying to tell me that people will have to deal with that in the real world, so why would you censor universities? In that second, I looked at him and only saw a "white male." I saw someone who is privileged enough to say that, because they don't have the types of microaggressions and negative experiences that people who are not privileged have. It's a privileged thing to tell other people to deal with those experiences, if they themselves haven't had to.
So, next time someone labels you a "white male," sit back, understand that you are probably not getting something, and ask them to help you understand. You're a better person for doing so.
