I was having a conversation with a friend recently and we were talking about how some families, groups of friends, and/or couples are incredibly open about saying “I love you” to each other while others are not.
There seems to be an underlying meaning, almost an unspoken level of intimacy in a relationship, marked by each muttering of those three words that people long for. The disappointment in not hearing “I love you” from someone special can be weird if you grew up, like I did, hearing it from my parents every night before bed. Even though I understand this feeling, I have come to realize it is only a feeling, and that “I love you” is simply a statement from one person to another. It is not validation that you are worthy or good or kind. It is not even a promise that the person saying it will be in your life forever, but it is a feeling.
Yes, it is corny and over used, but I truly believe actions speak louder than words, and with actions of love come other words. These are the words that take the place of that one magical sentence yet denote the true meaning behind “I love you." They say “I will do things for you” and “I want to be a part of your life because I enjoy you."
Here are some of my favorite lines.
- “I’ll pick you up at 3:30.” – my dad
- “How was your day?” – my mom
- “I know you love St. Patrick’s Day so I’ve been thinking about you all day.” – my Nana
- “Do you need a ride home?” – my mom-friend
- “Will you be my godmother?” – my goddaughter
- “I want to talk to Erin!” – my little cousins
- “I miss you.” – My little sister
- “You can sleep here as long as you wan.t” – my friend
- “Want to watch Step Brothers with me?” – my little brother
- “Do you want me to scoop you some ice cream?” – my dad
- “You are such a well-adjusted individual.” – my nana
- “Wow, I love reading what you write.” – My aunt
- “Please come to DC with us!” – my godmother
- “I hope this year is better for you.” – my brother
- “We’d love to have you over for Rosh Hashanah.” – my friend’s mom
- “I’ve been keeping up with you on Facebook. You look great!” – my mom-friend
- “I’m happy for you if you’re happy.” – my friend
- “That was very brave.” – my mom
- “I made sure we have CMT so you can watch Nashville.” – my roommate
- “I’m bringing you back to school today and we’ll figure it out together.” – my mom
- “I got more guacamole for you.” – my roommate
- “Mommy, I want Erin to get me dressed.” – my little cousin
- “Where have you been? I was worried.” – my mom
- “I made the brownies gluten free so you can have them.” – my uncle
- “I’m sorry reporter, but I’m going to have to talk to my family first.” – my brother after winning the championship
- “I want you to just be you. I'm doing this because I know you can be better.” – my “special friend”
- “You’re welcome here for New Years of course.” – my mom-friend
- “I got this article for you that I thought you’d like.” – my granny
- “You know we’re here if you need anything.” – my neighbors
- “EK, keep writing.” – my other neighbor
- “The more honest you are, the better the writing.” – my uncle
- “When can I come visit you this month?” – my friend
- “Do it again.” – my dancing teacher
- “Do it again.” – my dancing teacher for the fifth time in a row
- “Erin, please stop dancing like that or I can’t be seen with you!” – my roommate
- “I told my home friends that you're like really smart and fun, but a giant mess.” – same roommate
- “Please come camping with me!” – my friend
- “Here’s some cream for your rash.” – my mom-friend (refer to other mom-friend quotes)
- “Skeeter, do you want a coffee from Dunkin?” – my dad
- “Watch Girls. It’s so good but I have to cover my eyes during the sex scenes” – my friend
I could go on for pages and pages and that is the point I am trying to make here -- there are so many ways that people communicate how much they care. Whether you hear the actual words "I love you" everyday or once a year, there are many other phrases that just might be code for the same words.
