The other day:
I walk up the hill in between two buildings, heading to the Coffee Bean on campus for a late afternoon pick me up. It’s hot and the sun is relentless, the hot pavement burning through the soles of my shoes. I’m not paying attention at all, staring off and thinking of other things that need to be done.
“I like your dress.”
I don’t register what the girl passing by me says, but I automatically reply, “Thank you.”
It doesn’t hit me until I’ve gotten to the top of the hill that she had complimented me. I stop and smile, wondering why she would say that. I can’t stop thinking about it or smiling for the rest of the day.
It’s interesting to think that in a society where it is perfectly acceptable to be “feeling yourself” on any day, most of us seek the approval of others. And I know some of you are going to say that you don’t need someone to tell you that you look good today or that your hair looks good. I saw it too. But the reality is that when we get compliments about how we look, our happiness and confidence boost. I know this to be true, for me at least, from two different occasions.
One: I was dressed in business attire, a white button up, a knee length pleated skirt and flats, for elections that night within my organization. Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck the entire day. I could not stop thinking about it and worrying about what I would do if I didn’t get any positions. But as I was entering the building for my class, another girl walked out and commented on my appearance. She “loved my outfit” and I thanked her for telling me. But right after that, I was more confident and I carried my head up high. Only for it to filled with worries later.
Two: I always dealt with body image issues growing up and it has taken me a long time to acknowledge them. But finally I decided to just be daring and not think about that for one night. I wore a short skirt with tights and a crop top. I was so nervous to post my outfit online. I mainly did it because I was proud of just being able to say that I looked “okay” that night. Then next day, I opened up my Instagram and I looked through the comments my friends left, all positive and praising my look. After reading the comments, a small portion of my issues went away, confident that I looked good.
Like I said, this is just me. And I’m not saying that those compliments were the make or break of my day, causing me to accomplish everything that I wanted to. It’s more than that: it’s the way their kindness changed my perspective. While I can validate my own feelings and image, sometimes it’s nice to hear it from someone else. On most days, I can manage not hearing a compliment about how I look. Mainly because, I feel comfortable in my skin a lot more than I used to. Most days, my confidence comes from the way I look and that’s okay too. But sometimes on my bad days, I know that I have support from people to tell me the truth. That I’m not looking the way I feel and that how I look is not important. Because they are right; sometimes it’s not about what you wear or how you look that matters. What matters is how you feel, what you do and what you say to others, who you have surrounding you and how you impacted your immediate world. Because sometimes, a smile or a random compliment can do wonders.
