According to writer of The New York Times Beth Apone Salamon, there are 20 million only-child households in the United States. I am proud to say that I am one in 20 million.
When I first tell people that I am an only child, I get several reactions.
“Oh, you must be so spoiled!”
“Wow, you are so lucky!”
“OMG take my siblings, please!”
“You don’t seem like an only child.”
My reactions are always the same: um, not really. I mean, guess you could say that. I will gladly take them! Oh, am I supposed to be a rare-lookin’ creature?
Growing up as an only child definitely had its perks, but even worse it had its downfalls. Let me clear the air about some of the stereotypes I know most of you are thinking:
Yes, I was in the position to gain both my mother’s and my father’s attention 100 percent of the time. Yes, this did lead to some major benefits such as being able to afford awesome vacations, concerts, 15 years of dance classes, four years of horseback riding lessons, and throw in some summers of recreational basketball and softball. However, some people do not understand that means all eyes are on me, all of the time. I wouldn’t necessarily label my parents as strict, but I was most definitely disciplined to the max, as well as taught respect and manners at a very early age. My parents had expectations with everything I did, and they wanted nothing but the best from me. With the spotlight always on me they were constantly pushing me to be the greatest. A great deal of pressure comes with being an only child. Heck, I am their only offspring, and they want me to be successful. Honestly, if I didn’t have that I would not be who I am today.
A topic of discussion amongst other only children that I don’t think many individuals with siblings think about is loneliness. As the adventurous child that I was, I had this constant longing of always having a friend by my side. My parents used to rent out a beach house in South Carolina. I wanted to play on the beach with someone else so bad that my mom would hold my hand as we approached other families with little kids and ask if I could play with them. Sad, right? Also, when all of my little neighborhood friends were gone I would sit out in my front yard by the flagpole for hours until they came home. It was a sad childhood of waiting around for someone to play with. However, by the time I reached middle school I was able to turn that loneliness into independence, and I actually didn’t mind my abundance of quiet time.
Loneliness also has its long-term effects. I hate even bringing this subject up but sometimes the idea of something bad happening to both of my parents crosses my mind, and I honestly don’t even know what I would do. My mom and my dad are my absolute best friends. We are the fearless three, and we do everything together.
Lastly, I cannot speak for all only children out there, but I certainly have an overpowering fascination with large families. I am completely obsessed with them. Both "Cheaper by the Dozen" movies are number one and two on my list of favorite films. I can pretty much recite every line. I am in love with the constant chaos and sibling drama, but most importantly, Steve Martin is a legend. When I was younger I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that when I would go to my friends house for a play date, they didn’t want their little siblings playing with us as well. I wanted to play as one big happy family. I never got the experience of fighting with a sibling, nor understood the unnecessary hatred and competition between them.
I always joke around about my only child-ness. I say that I am “the chosen one” or the “golden one” because my parents admit that they wished for five children, and out came only one. Sadly, that is just how it was meant to be, but we are making it work.
One qualification for my future husband is that he has to have at least one sibling. How horrible would it be if I married a boy who is also an only child? That means our children would have no immediate cousins, aunts, or uncles. That sounds horrible and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. So, do your future children a favor and try to reproduce at least twice.
