When I was youngster, I was a plump, buck-tooth diva. After I hit a growth spurt, I then considered myself a gangly giraffe with braces. Despite all of this, I was not too terribly concerned about my looks. I mean, the disinterest in my appearance was clear; I let my baby fat proudly hang out and wore gauchos with Crocs. Before puberty was good to me, I lived through roughly fifteen years of my life unaware that I was awkward looking.
I would like to thank my parents and family for blessing me with a childhood not fixated on my outward appearance. I was not a beautiful pre-pubescent child, so they never complimented me on my looks. I was not showered with admiration about my face, hair, and body. Instead, my parents told me that I was smart. I was praised for my sense of humor and wit. My parents made sure that I knew that I was filled with empathy, had a striking work ethic.They told me that they could never express how proud they were of my honorable achievements.
Compliments about personality, intelligence, and character traits mean more than the typical "you're cute lol." Anyone can hand out a compliment pertaining to outward appearance; they're easier to formulate than their thoughtful counterpart.
Use this guide the next time someone tickles your fancy and you need to let them know how much they mean to you.
Compliment their heart.
Compliments pertaining to a heart for Christian missions, community service, or social justice all fall under this category.
They include kind words like:
"You are working your hardest to be the hands and feet of Jesus. The blessings that await you in Heaven are going to be phenomenal. I'm blessed to call you my friend."
"Your work in combating rural poverty is awe-inspiring. You have truly made an impact in the lives of the families that you have served. Although you cannot change the whole world, you have changed the world of that community."
"Your heart for racial equality actually goes beyond equality. You have created a call to action for justice. Your passion for justice rather than equality is remarkable."
Compliment their intelligence.
Compliment someones brains instead of their body.
"I'm sure it is difficult to be a linguistic learner when the academic world is set up for mathematical minds. Despite that, you are prospering in your studies and are breaking down stigma's toward being an English major."
"You are going to be a wonderful nurse. Not only do you have a heart for health, you have a heart for your patients. Your caring nature for strangers is breathtaking."
"Your dedication to your studies is so impressive. No, you're not a "nerd." You're a concerned pre-med major who knows that learning the material is crucial."
Compliment their character traits.
A teacher once told me, "Your character is defined by how you act when no one is watching." People with strong moral character do not act that way for attention. However, that does not mean you should refrain from letting them know that their actions go unnoticed.
"Your patience inspires me to slow down and appreciate the little things in life."
"I can only hope to become half of the woman that you are one day. Your non-judgmental, loving heart and listening ears show me that there are still good people in the world."
"I trust that I can tell you anything because of your integrity. You need to know that your vow to honesty sets you apart from most people our age."
Compliment their strength.
If someone's emotional strength stands out to you, tell them. Your kind words are what they may have needed to get them through a particularly difficult day.
"You stare adversity in the face and see it as a challenge with notable strength."
"Your resiliency throughout your battle with cancer is remarkable. You are a warrior."
"I cannot imagine facing life after the loss of a loved one. Your strength during and after your time of loss is noble and speaks volumes about you."
This list does not graze the surface of the depth of compliment giving.
I am not providing instructions on how to completely avoid telling people that they are appealing to the eyes. Instead, try to give at least three non-appearance based compliments each day.
You will be surprised by how much a well thought-out compliment means to someone.
