In high school, we walked through the maze of hallways each morning and we looked without seeing the people who passed us by. We painted a smile on our face, put on the trendiest clothes, and struggled to find a sense of self in a sea of conformity. We focused on all the wrong things like what clothes we wore and who was dating who. We made inappropriate jokes, swapped lunches, and forgot that there was a world beyond the cement walls that felt more like a prison than a place of learning. We hated homework with a fiery passion, and we found ourselves constantly wondering if the information we were being taught would have any relevance in the outside world.
The future was an intangible concept that always seemed to loom in the distance until it was suddenly thrust upon us. But we were eager to move on to “real” life. We saw stars and freedom, with fast cars, late nights out, and a chance to do something for ourselves. Everything about life after graduation basked in a glow that could not be tarnished. So we followed the rules, and completed all the steps. We wrote our college essays and hoped that the schools we were applying to ignored the scent of our desperation and saw more than statistics and letters on a page. We were chasing our dreams in circles as the months ticked by, and we lived in a constant state of anticipation. The envelopes that came back brought both good and bad news, so we readjusted our vision and placed a deposit on the school we felt most excited about. We told our friends and family of our decision, and started to envision the life we would have at our new home.
During the summer before we moved in, we spent time with the people who had gotten us through high school and prepared to leave the nest. When the time came to say goodbye, we cried for the people we would leave behind but continued to keep our eyes on the horizon where a new dawn was about to break.
And when the new day began, we took our first hesitant steps toward adulthood and prayed that we were on the right path. It was then that we realized that high school was easy. Every day was the same; the hallways were always filled with the same people, taking the same routes to their classes, and exhibiting zero control over their own lives. There were rules built upon routines to keep us focused and out of trouble, and peer pressure reinforced homogeneity. But when we immersed ourselves in college, we found a place of freedom. Freedom to be who we want to be, eat what we want, take the classes we have always wanted to take, pave our own paths, and set our own schedules.
But being able to make our own decisions comes at a price. When we’re not taking advantage of every possibility in front of us, there’s room to wonder if we’re doing the right thing. Regret, stress, and worry are our constant companions, but part of adulthood is learning to live with and be proud of the choices we make. And that’s something that no one ever told us. We’re going to make mistakes in college. Huge, catastrophic ones and small, insignificant ones. We’re going to doubt every major decision we make whether it’s what to have for dinner or what to major in for the next four years. And that’s fine. Learn to live with and embrace the fear, because it’s how we react to this constant stress that determines the type of life we’ll live.
And the way I see it, you have one of two choices: Let the fear consume you and keep you down, or let it go. Let yourself be free to experience life without regret. Know that whatever will be, will be and you are just a speck of sand in the world’s ocean of people. Let life take you where it wants you to go, and never look back. Just soak in the view in front of you and glance at the horizon when you need a reminder of where you’d like to be.
