Smartphone owners everywhere have been falling in love with this new kawaii Japanese cat collecting app, Neko Atsume, which translates from Japanese to English as "Cat Collection." In this virtual game, set in a backyard setting, you can buy toys to place in the yard for cute cartoon kitties to play with in your yard. In order to attract any cats at all, though, you must first buy food to put out in the yard. No kitty food means no kitties. Kind of like how some people offer to provide free refreshments and items at boring meetings or events in order to attract more people. We are the Neko Atsume cats, and they are us.
Each cat has an identification card, kind of like a Pokémon card, except these cats don't fight. However, they all have their own power level. They look so innocent; what could this power level possibly mean? Maybe when they are alone, if more than one cat wants to play with a certain toy, they decide who gets the toy by having an intense battle. Maybe they are like Pokémon when we aren't watching, then as soon as someone opens the app and the "meow loading" screen comes up, they hurriedly scurry to their spots to look sweet and innocent. Those sneaky little kitties, they've got to be hiding something behind those soulless little eyes. They are probably part of a special organization that's on a top-secret mission to take over the world. If we humans continue to play this game, they will soon cross over the fourth wall into our world and carry out their devious plans. We can't let this happen; who knows what kind of evil tyranny they have up their sleeves? Does this look like a face you could trust? (Probably still better than some presidential candidates we have here in the United States!)
But all that aside, when the cats come and play with the toys you put out, they look absolutely adorable. I can't watch them play without smiling, and neither can they because they aren't programmed with any facial expressions other than that little cat smile. I especially like playing this game in public, so people think I'm insane as I smile and giggle at my phone saying, "Awww, you're so cute! Playing with that little paper bag, awwww!" They will also occasionally bring you mementos such as ribbon or a fish hook, which are better than dead animals on your doorstep. How sweet -- or are they just trying to get on your good side? Keep your eyes wide open and on them at all times just in case.
In all seriousness, this app is a cute way to pass the time, but if too many people play it for too long, the portal from their world to our world will open up, and we may be doomed to a world of eternal Neko Atsume cat tyranny. Which could be absolutely catastrophic. So remember, play responsibly.
