My parents are divorced. They got divorced when I was two years old. It was a fairly civil divorce — in fact my dad even drove my mom to the court to finalize the paperwork (or so they say … I’m still not convinced). But don’t get me wrong, they have had some rough times too. As parents. As exes. As friends. When I was younger, I was so embarrassed to have parents that weren't married like all my other friends’ parents were. I loathed that we weren't considered “normal.” I would have done anything in my power to be just like everybody else who had such “perfect families.”

But I didn’t have a perfect family. Not even close! And I was reminded all the time that my parents weren’t just divorced, that their relationship was “broken.” Which then transcended into our family being labeled by society as “broken.” Wait a second. Does anyone else see a problem here?

My parents aren’t still together. Does that mean my family is permanently stuck with a label of inferiority?

To my divorced kids out there, I wonder if you feel the same way. I wonder if you’re tired of the pity eyes and the “brokenness” label too. Because, just between us, I’m glad my parents decided to divorce. I really and truly am. My life has not been easy, and I’ve spent nights crying my eyes out because my parents don't always get along. But do you know what would've been worse? Not being able to fall asleep or cry in silence because the sounds of my parents arguing every single night kept me awake. Or watching as my parents avoided eye contact with each other every morning because the love was just gone. And they couldn’t get it back. That would have been much worse. That would have “broken” me.

My life would be in shambles (even more so than it is now) had my parents not decided to get a divorce. And (now this one is a real shocker to most people) my view on love would’ve been more distorted.

A paradox of sorts -- that my divorced parents haven’t shattered or broken (yes that word choice was intentional) my view of love completely. But my parents as a married couple undoubtedly would have. I am blessed with many examples of marital love around me, in my family and even my friends parents. And don’t get me wrong, I too crave a marriage full of love and affection -- because I know what it looks like. But I also realize that my parents didn’t have it. Mom and Dad not being together taught me that I should never accept a marriage that isn’t filled with love. That marriages without love and marriages with love essentially have nothing in common. Nothing at all! And without a divorce, without the “brokenness,” I would never have been able to separate these two entirely contrasting entities.

I want to end this rant by making it clear that I am in no way trying to glorify divorce. It is not an ideal situation, and it definitely does have different effects on different families. But that being said, it shouldn’t mean that children of divorce have to live their lives with the “broken” label, because quite frankly it just really, really sucks. Take it from me.

So, friends, I am here begging you to leave your labels at home and leave the pity there too, because us kids of divorce -- we’ve already received far beyond our fair share.