For as long as I can remember, I have been responsible for someone. Whether it was a pet, myself, or my two little brothers, I have always been the person who's in charge. Naturally, when I got old enough to have friends at school, I became in charge of them, too. This earned me the position of the "Mom Friend".

I've always been proud of being this "Mom Friend". I loved that my friends would come to me with things and ask for my advice. I was always proud that my friends thought I had my life together, even if I really did not (and I still don't).

Here at WVU, I'm the Mom Friend. At school in Ohio, I was the Mom Friend. At school in Louisiana, I was the Mom Friend. At school in Minnesota, I didn't have any friends.

As much I have enjoyed being the Mom Friend and always bringing snacks to every outing, I've begun to feel drained. I don't think it's because I dislike my friends or because they annoy me (most of the time), but I think it's more likely something I bring on myself.

I've found that I have become so accustomed to taking on my friends' issues that I have stopped focusing on myself. In middle school, I stressed over my friends' problems and turned them into my own. I would spend hours crying with my mom because I didn't know what to do. In high school, I would worry about my friends and the decisions that they made. I struggled, at that point, with telling my mom or telling their mom or telling them that they were being dumb.

Now that I'm away at school, I'm surrounded by people who haven't had the ability to make decisions and go out when they want to. As a result of that, they're doing whatever they want to and making stupid decisions. It's stressing me out that no matter what I do or what I say, no one listens to me. No one cares about what I have to say if it will keep them out of trouble. They just run to me when they need my help after getting into the trouble I could have prevented.

Like a real mom, right?

I begin to remember growing up with my two younger brothers and my dad telling me that whatever my brothers did was on me. If they messed up, I messed up. If they got hurt, I could have prevented it. If they did something well, it was because I was a good older sister. I was raised with this philosophy, so I understand it. It's always been my job to make sure that my brothers grew up to be the best people that they could be. I think I took that and turned it into "every person that I am in charge of becomes my entire responsibility" and "if my friends mess up, I mess up" or even "every mistake they make is my fault".

That's not a way of thinking that's fair to me, and it's actually wholly inaccurate. People cannot always be held accountable for the decisions that other people make. It's not fair to anyone.

Fellow Mom Friends, you aren't responsible for the kinds of people that your friends are. It isn't your responsibility to tell them how to live their lives, and you aren't supposed to be held accountable when your friends mess up.

At a Halloween party, I was crying because I was stressed about my friend and her slew of not too great life decisions. My other friend told me something that I've been thinking about a lot. She said:

"Don't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm. You'll only end up burned."

So please, love your friends! Bring them snacks, offer them advice, be their shoulder to cry on, make them laugh, and give them hugs whenever you can. But please don't hurt yourself for them. Your first priority should be to make sure you're okay.

Also, if you have a Mom Friend, please be more considerate of the fact that we care about you, and we want you to be okay. Please don't put too much pressure on them, and please remember that it's your job to make sure that they are as happy as they can be. Like all of life, friendship is a two-way street.