“I LOVE COLLEGE OMG!!!!!”
On one of my first days of college, as I sat at the opening circle of Customs Week, Haverford’s orientation program, and introduced myself to a group of strangers, one of my former high school classmates tweeted the above statement. In the interim between introductions and ice breakers, I read her tweet, feeling remotely unsettled. I had just arrived early that morning—how could she already be having so much fun? Did she already make her best friends in those moments? If she could do that, why couldn’t I?
Over the course of the subsequent weeks, I found that, though I tried to forget about it, the tweet lingered in my mind. While Customs Week had ended and classes had begun, I had still felt somewhat lonely, as my friendships had not yet fully developed. I was still getting to know people, still trying to understand the situation on campus, still trying to navigate classes and figure out the best way to interact with my professors. As I waltzed around the campus, trying to find my place, the tweet constantly gnawed away at me. I felt like I was doing something wrong because my transition had been so difficult and my former classmate’s had been so seemingly simple. Every day, I woke up with feelings of anxiety latching onto me, as I had not yet felt acclimated to the school, and I thought that that was my fault, that I was to be blamed. My mom reassured me that though I was upset to be at the school at the time, I would, at some point, get acclimated and be so sad to leave at the end of the year. Though I knew that she was probably right, I couldn’t fully understand that; I felt like that point might never come.
But one morning, around three weeks into the school year, I walked out of my dorm, feeling much more comfortable, and looked around. Stepping outside, hearing the door shut behind me, I noticed the vibrant colors of summer that residually held their place on the campus, the gorgeous buildings, the quiet buzz of students wandering around early in the morning. A gentle breeze blew life directly onto the campus, filling it with a reassuring chill that fought back against the stifling heat. I noticed just how beautiful the campus was and how lucky I was to be at such an amazing place. And it was then, for the first time, that I felt entirely at home at Haverford.
Reflecting on that experience a year later, I sometimes wonder how a single tweet was able to get me so worked up. I can’t quite fathom why I felt inadequate for not immediately loving college because, whether or not they openly show it, every first year student undergoes a transitionary period where they’re not fully comfortable on campus. No matter where a student goes to college, there’s always the fear that they won’t fit in, that they haven’t made friends, that they’ll be alone. And it all takes time; you can’t walk into a new place and all of a sudden feel secure. But that’s what makes college so wonderful—you get to know new people, escape your comfort zone, and figure out who you are and who you want to be.
As I continue into the future, I know that I’ve found my home at Haverford. The nervousness that I once experienced while waking up in the morning has translated itself into excitement, as I simply can’t wait each day to get to my classes, to see my friends, to get to tennis practice, and to get to experience life as a Haverford student. So to the current first years: your transition may take a day. It make take a week. It may take an entire year. But know that Haverford will become your home if you give it a try. You will have the chance to talk to brilliant people about topics both deep and shallow, to consider real issues, to figure out your place in the world. You will have the chance to go out and have fun, to listen to music, to have an experience. You will have the chance to grow and develop and change in the best way imaginable. And I guarantee you that at the end of the year, when May rolls around and you look around your hall, at the faces of former strangers turned friends, you will never want to leave. You will love it here. Trust me.
