I was watching the tourists come to see the sights in my city of San Francisco, and my friends and I always make it a game to spot the tourist. Also when I was in Los Angeles, I tried to blend in. So I just thought why not write my next article on tourism. This advice is good to follow when you want to spot tourists and what not to do when you are a tourist. If you want to blend in or not drive us locals to push you out of the way. Do not do these things.
1. Do not take out all your money.
Showing all the people in the world your money isn't so smart unless you want to get robbed or cheated. Locals will raise prices at markets and street vendors when we see how much dough you're rolling in. "Did I say that bracelet was $5? I actually meant $10. Also if you do have that much money please help us broke college students."
2. Do not insult the locals.
For example, don't say phrases that include, "Wow this place is so dirty," "Do any of these people know how rude they're being?" "I've never met a *insert certain ethnicity* that could speak such great English." Especially we the San Franciscans do not like when you use jokes against certain people. Trust me we can be ruthless. We have learned to get through a crowd in less than five minutes. Especially in Chinatown for me. Trust me, we will shove, elbow and shimmy our way through. Also if you piss us off, we will tell you the wrong directions. So please do not insult us.
3. Do not wear Hawaiian shirts.
This is beyond a sign that you are a tourist. Don't wear them unless it's representing the Giants or a sports team of some sort. A Hawaiian shirt screams tourist. Yes, it may be comfy and yes it may be colorful and cool, but all the people who are looking for tourists will try to get you to buy something as soon as they see you.
4. Do not engage physically with the animals.
This includes the birds, squirrels, and especially the ones behind the glass, fences, cages, or walls in a zoo. Unless specifically given permission. I once saw this man try to pet a bird downtown in San Francisco and the next thing I know the bird is attacking the man. Trust me it's a no-go. You have no idea what diseases these animals could have from rabies to the bird flu.
5. Do not take anything "free" from people, because most likely it will actually have a price.
For example just this last week I was offered in Hollywood a keychain that was supposedly touched by Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter for free, and then actually was told it was free after purchasing a bus trip around Hollywood. I was tempted, trust me. I love Harry Potter, but nonetheless I took another keychain from my backpack and told the other person jokingly that I'll trade them this keychain that was touched by Emma Watson aka Hermoine for that keychain and $5 instead. They were not amused.
In general, whatever trip you go on and they offer you something "free" it is not really free, trust me. It will include a timeshare presentation, a trip presentation aka handcuffing you to a chair basically until you buy something that's at a "good deal." Be smart in general when grabbing anything free.
