Let me just repeat it louder for those in the back (though I don't think that's possible to do in an article): my dad fainted at his own reflection.

There may be a lot of speculation as to what happened. Did he get a stroke while admiring himself in the mirror? Did the gods decide to smite him for his sins? Did he finally realize what a reflection was? Did he faint after being forced to confront the sheer ugliness of himself?

No, it was much worse than that.

With that being said, be careful; this story has been known to kill brain cells.

It was an average night in Washington D.C. My family and I had just gotten back to the hotel, and I was happy after finding a few flowers I decided to put in a plastic cup filled with water. Everybody was exhausted from a long day of walking, including me. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, set my flowers on a nightstand and went to sleep.

At around 1 a.m. my mom heard a thud. I had rolled off the bed, smacked my head on the corner of the nightstand and faceplanted on the floor. After staying there for a while, I sleepwalked back to my bed. Everything went back to normal.

At around three in the morning, my dad got up. He was thirsty and dehydrated. Stumbling around the room in the darkness of 3 a.m., his hands felt a plastic cup with water in it. Eager for some clean, fresh water, he drank whatever was in the cup.

Well, turns out the water inside wasn't very clean as he ended up drinking a few of the flowers I had picked earlier with it. After realizing he had drunk from the plastic cup with my flowers, he staggered, coughing and sputtering, to the bathroom to wash it out.

On the way there, he passed by a mirror. The light from the dimly lit hallway managed to sneak under the door, illuminating the mirror in front of him. He took a cursory glance and ended up seeing himself. As he beheld the vague outline of his reflection in the mirror, he knew what it was: an intruder.

With a crash, he fell on the floor because he thought his reflection was a burglar. He didn't even try to fight it or dial 911 (though I admit, it would've been entertaining if he started battling his reflection.) Nope. He just took one look in the mirror and fainted.

So I think we can learn a lot about how to defend ourselves with this story. When a trespasser comes in looking for money, try fainting. They might just die of laughter. Extra points if you think you are the robber and faint at yourself, (nice one dad).