Growing up in my household was interesting. My grandmother was a hippie, and she raised my mother as a hippie flower child. Meanwhile, my grandparents on my father’s side raised my dad as an obedient, rule-following child. They grew up in two very different environments.
I often hear about the struggles of growing up with strict parents and growing up with free-spirited parents, but I’m the small minority that had it both ways. I was able to relate to both kinds of parenting situations. I’m thankful for being raised in this kind of environment because it offered a balance of being properly disciplined with being free-spirited and able to think for myself.
If you were raised through “mixed parenting,” which is what experts call this style of parenting, you will hear two different perspectives on how to act in almost every situation.
Grades/Schoolwork
For my father, anything lower than an A was not allowed, and there was no fun allowed unless my grades were perfect. My mother, on the other hand, was fine with average grades as long as I was trying my best.
Friends
I could have friends over and sleepovers whenever I wanted because my mother said I could. My father felt that it was strictly a weekend thing.
Dating
“You’re not allowed to date until your 60!” my father said, although I think he was joking. My mother never cared if I dated, as long as I was being safe.
Drinking
My mother gave me my first beer when I was seven years old, and I thought it was gross (not anymore, though). Of course, dad was totally against any form of underage drinking.
Smoking
Smoking weed was a definite no in our household, but if my mother found my stash, she would take it and smoke it herself.
Entertainment
If there was anything that wasn’t appropriate for a child on tv, my father would tell me not to watch it. On the other hand, my mother let me watch "Kill Bill" and other Quentin Tarantino movies when I was just a little kid. I remember telling my fourth-grade teacher how much I loved "Kill Bill" and "Goodfellas" and she said, “what in the world? Your parents let you watch that?!”
Tattoos and Piercings
To my father, this was an absolute no. My mother has tattoos and piercings and was one hundred percent supportive when I wanted them. I remember when I was fifteen and got my industrial piercing and my mom took pictures of it posted them on social media. My father was very disappointed, but I didn’t care, it looked good and I was proud.
Activities
My father was an extremely competitive athlete in multiple sports, and now he coaches baseball. When my mother gave me the option to participate in an out of school activity, I chose things like soccer, arts, music, etc. Dad didn’t give me an option and forced me to play softball. But don’t get me wrong, I love softball. I got to choose what activity I wanted to do, I just had to play softball at the same time.
“The Talk”
I never got the talk from my father because it was “inappropriate.” Even passionate kissing on tv made him uncomfortable. I had the talk with my mother when I was in elementary school. That might have been a little young to know about that kind of stuff, but I’m glad I knew about how babies were made before seventh-grade health. Needless to say, it wasn’t shocking when my teacher explained the different methods of birth control.
