This Is What I Wish I Could Say To My High School Bully | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

This Is What I Wish I Could Say To My High School Bully

I will never understand you. I will never become you. But above all, I just want you to know that I forgive you.

Zierra Treshock
Jan 13, 2017
Bloomsburg University
This Is What I Wish I Could Say To My High School Bully
Pexels

Everyone has their demons. Everyone has their nightmares. Everyone has the ghosts that haunt them. I never thought that mine would be a real person. And I never thought that I would let you get enough of me that I started to believe your words myself. I never thought that I would become someone who wasn't strong enough to fight. I never thought that I would let you win.

I wonder why you chose me. I wonder if I made myself look weak so you preyed on me. I wonder if it was actually my fault. I wonder if you wanted something else from me than all of the pride you took. I wonder if you can look yourself in the mirror now. I wonder if you know that I still love you.

I want you to know that I'm sorry that I let you get the best of me. I'm sorry that I let you treat me so poorly and ruin my image of myself. I'm sorry that you realized how much you were hurting me and didn't seem to care. I'm sorry that no one taught you to channel your anger away from other people and that you needed to take it out on me. I'm sorry that no one loved you enough for you to find better things to do with your time. I'm sorry that I let this go on for so long without sticking up for myself. I'm sorry that you were so hurt too.

I hope that no one ever hurts you the way you hurt me. I hope that you learn that you can be a better person. I hope that you see that there's more to life than angry words and violence. I hope you find peace. I hope you find yourself. I hope you grow.

I wish that you would realize the harm that you've done -- not just to me but to everyone else around me. I wish that you could see hurt in someone's eyes and feel sympathy rather than joy. I wish that I could say that you made me a stronger person instead of knocking me down. I wish that I saw that you were just a damaged person like myself. I wish the best for you now.

As time passed and we all grew up, I know now that you didn't mean to be the person you were. I look back and I see that the maturity wasn't there, and that wasn't something you could help. I look back at old photographs of myself and I can remember those hurtful years. I will never understand you. I will never become you. But above all, I just want you to know that I forgive you.

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