Last week, the picture I posted with my article was a blurb about respect saying, “You’ve got to give it to get it.” In the past week, I have been amazed at the theme of respect in three different areas of my life. R-E-S-P-E-C-T is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. That statement I have come to recognize as truth in three different areas of my life.

1. The people who live under the same roof as me.

Photo Credit: Hannah Rathbun

My roommates and I are learning an awful lot about one another. For instance, we have an entire cupboard dedicated to how much tea we drink. We all like coffee and tea, which is very telling about people. We have learned who likes and dislikes to do the dishes --but, if we are being honest, we are more so learning who is alright procrastinating on dishes, and who is willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the cleanliness of our kitchen.

We have learned funny quirks about ourselves -- having to do with places we’ve lived before or our family heritage. We’ve learned sometimes when one of us is singing in the shower, others will join in harmony in the living room. We’ve learned we need to address issues as they happen, or they will fester. I personally have learned how blessed I am to live with these women, and how much I am going to cry when I go abroad for a couple months, and then when one of my roommates does her practicum in a different state next semester.

Respect takes knowledge of people.

People should respect people in general; however, the more you know a person, the more likely you are to respect them, and the more you know how to better respect them. I know to be so quiet in the morning as I get up at the crack of dawn to student teach, and my roommates know that they need to be quiet when they stay up until the wee hours of the morning, because I am in bed…preparing myself to get up at the crack of dawn. We know when the others are floundering, upset, overjoyed, etc. Our respect comes from our love for one another, and vice versa. These wonderful women have taught me so much about that aspect of living together.

2. The people engaging in the activities I love.

Photo credit: Shannon Smagala

I love theatre. I am working toward a minor in theatre. I’ve been in over 40 shows, have helped with at least 15 shows, and have directed two shows. Our department is so unique, and I attribute that to the amount of love and respect we have for one another. This is really inspired by the leadership in our department -- our directors are amazing -- and because of this leadership being poured into the people walking through the doors of the theatre quadrant, it gets poured out onto others.

There is such a temptation within theatre to become self-absorbed -- only thinking about what roles you want to play or what you can do to build your resume. Selfishness, especially within this department, is a lack of love and respect for those you are working alongside and growing with. If my job is to be an actor, I need to respect those around me who are making my job possible. Actors can be known for their rude behavior to crew members when they aren’t realizing that the person they are snubbing could drop the pull line they have and let a banner fall on top of them….OK, maybe not that dramatic…but rudeness to other people is unproductive, uncooperative, unkind, and lacks collaboration in understanding.

The department at Taylor University has changed my life. I’ve had the opportunity to engage with amazing characters, direct amazing students, and work behind the scenes -- helping the setting of a world come to life. Our department is such a place of love and respect, joining hands, strengthening the weak, and caring for one another-- even when certain people may not be our favorite people. We set aside differences or frustrations in order to come together to do something amazing. Creativity is in need of love and respect, and when it happens, the results are beautiful.

3. My Classroom

Photo Credit: Olivia McCash

I am currently student teaching, and I think in the past month, I’ve received more disrespect than I have in much of my life. It’s amazing the things kids will say, the way they will roll their eyes at you, and the sudden omission of any realization that teachers are humans with feelings -- so they feel justified in what they are doing. I don’t know if it’s this upcoming generation, or if it is just the area that my school is in, but disrespect is a daily occurrence in huge 10-foot waves, crashing down on some of the people who care more about kids than many people in the world.

I wrote my students a letter this week telling them that I only have a month left with them, and I hope they know how much I care about and love them. Do they frustrate me? Oh yeah. Have I frustrated them? I’m sure. However, this has nothing to do with whether or not I respect them. I wanted them to have access to this letter to remember that someone cares, someone respects them, and believe it or not, someone is asking for some respect in return.

A student walked into my class and looks at me square in the eye: “Miss Bolinger, I respect you.” I was in shock. I almost started crying. “Oh -- um…thank you! Why may I ask are you telling me this?” He looked at me again and smiled, “I read your letter. I really like it. I respect you.” This student is one of my troublemakers. I was amazed. He proceeded to announce to the class that they needed to respect me, and he got all of his work done in class with time to spare -- an occurrence that has not happened with him yet. He looked at me, “Miss Bolinger, I got so much done today.” I smiled, “Yeah, you did! I’m proud of you.” He smiled again, “I think your letter inspired me or something.”

Now, who knows how much he was playing up the letter or if it actually really stuck with him, but what matters is at least he knows that respect is now mutual. Respect is beautiful. What that 16-year old kid said to me was beautiful. The thing about respect is that sometimes, in order to get it, you have to humble yourself and give it first.