In the spirit of going home for Thanksgiving Break, I wanted to explore the concept of home. Where is home? What exactly constitutes as home? Does it have to be a place, or can it be a person? Can it be multiple places or people? My answers to these questions and my thoughts on the topic of home have changed drastically since my first days here.
For most people, going to college means moving away from home and settling into a new one. For me, this wasn’t quite the case. I’ve lived in Ithaca all my life, so Ithaca is home. My room in my house has a very similar view to the view from the dorm’s balcony. Comfort and familiarity, therefore, are two things I believe represent a home.
Although my situation — going to college 10 minutes away from where I spent 18 years of my life growing up — is different than many of my peers, I still experienced the same emotions that this exciting, difficult transition created. I felt as if a piece of me was being taken. My childhood ended the day that I moved myself into the dorms. It was a sad and serene moment when I realized that the world as I knew it would never be quite the same. Once you leave and settle yourself in a new place like college, can you ever truly return home?
There is a powerful Welsh word, hiraeth, that translates lightly to English as the homesickness for a home to which maybe you cannot return, a home that maybe never was or the nostalgia for the lost places of your past. This word, in all its illusiveness, perfectly sums up the feelings I experienced transitioning from my childhood home to my new, metaphorical home in the bigger world. I still feel a strong sense of grief and sadness for the past that I cannot return to, but I'm hopeful and happy for the future that college will afford me. Thus, a home is also full of deep sentiments.
As the end of the semester nears, I am amazed at just how much I have learned in my short time as a college student. Number one: college is all about sharing. Everything is shared here — spaces, places, people, ideas — nothing is sacred. Transitioning from my own private bedroom and bathroom and large living spaces to cramped dorms, public bathrooms and common lounges was challenging to say the least. Two: problems from your past don’t magically disappear when you move into your new place on campus. Remember that boyfriend you had in high school? He’s back in town and he wants to “catch up.” Third and finally: finding yourself in college is a pile of crap. What I’ve discovered is that you actually just enhance who you already were and develop new character traits that allow you to become the person you want to be.
Home is you. You are your own home, your own place to live, thrive and survive the harsh realities of the real world. Be the house for yourself that you’ve always wanted to live in. Treat yourself, love yourself, be yourself because you're the only home you’ll ever truly have.
Read more about hiraeth here.
