Introverted extrovert: it’s a bit of an oxymoron, right?

I mean no one considers an extrovert and thinks of someone who spends their time alone and is quiet around other people, just as no one considers an introvert to be talkative and someone who thrives around others.

The two just don’t seem to be compatible.

Yet, somehow, there are those who seem to have the line drawn directly down the middle. They flourish in highly social environments, yet also find enjoyment in time alone. They love to take time to be with their friends but also need breaks from those friends frequently. They will scream their heads off for the first hour of a pep rally, then sit back in their seats and silently people-watch for the rest of it.

There’s something kind of comically ironic about introverted extroverts and yes, they realize it. They also realize that many people may not fully understand how their personality works and thus, when an IE randomly withdraws from an activity or gets a spontaneous urge to go do something, people are confused. So as an introverted extrovert, please allow me to explain how our mental processes work to benefit those of us out there who don’t understand.

IE’s are random in the first degree.

We commit to things weeks in advance, then back out last minute because of something trivial (like taking a nap, for example). We realize that this must make it seem like we don’t want to spend time with you or we are mad at you, but really it has nothing to do with you at all.

The fact is that when we feel we have had our fair share of social activities for the day, we mostly just like to retreat into our own space and spend time with ourselves. Sometimes when we feel like we've spent TOO much time by ourselves all cooped up while you've been busy, we'll feel the sudden urge to go crash in on you at work and kidnap you to do stuff with us. While this can get super annoying for you (who is forced to deal with our hanging out commitment issues), we really hope you will understand because we do love you and try hard to respect our set plans! We just sometimes need to change things up a bit!

IE’s can swing moods HARD.

There may not even be anything wrong with us that day, but we may still find ourselves in a sour mood. We know that this one especially is super fun for you to deal with, and we’re so sorry so please let us explain. The reason for this mainly lies in the fact that we will, more often than not, sign ourselves up for an activity of some sort and then realize halfway through it that we do not want to be there AT ALL. And while this obviously happens to everyone, we find that we do this and make plans right around the time when our capacity for human interaction is at an all-time high of “STOP, NO MORE”. We feel terrible when our mood brings down your mood, though, so we are honestly working on it and trying to not let our emotions be the focus of a hangout.

IE’s really are loving people. Please understand that under all the rough spots in our personality and the sometimes anti-social tendencies, we truly do love you and want to be around you. Many of the introverted extroverts that I know have the warmest hearts when you take the time to get to know them and really do care deeply about people. If you are our friend, we will love you and be there for you when you absolutely need us to be. We are willing to spend time building our relationship with you (even if it takes a little longer than normal), and we appreciate you so much for accepting us even through all our faults and for understanding every time we bail on dinner at Oregano’s.

You are amazing for sticking by us, so we will, in return, stand by you.