The public transportation system can be a scary thing. No one ever knows that they might witness or stumble upon. There are five types of people who use public transportation. When put into one place, this example of biological diversity results in endless fascination and perhaps the invention of the sport sometimes called “people watching.”
1. There are those who are so annoyingly environmentally conscious, that they would rather drink the water out of e-coli infected stream then use a plastic water bottle.
These are the people who classify as “hipsters” or preferably, “dirty hippies.” In fact, the only reason that they’re even on a bus is probably because it's so snowy out, so their feet would literally freeze since wearing shoes is outlawed by the laws of enlightenment. These people are particularly annoying because not only do they typically smell bad, they also have annoying habit of feeling the need to strike up a conversation and criticize your personal life decisions, like eating animal products or really eating anything other then lettuce.
2. Next, there are the little brats some refer to as “street youths.”
These are the troublemakers of the public transportation world. These are the demons that every adult secretly fears. They’re typically a volatile group and are feared because of their unpredictability and crude humor. In fact, during the day, society feels the need to even lock them away in closely monitored prisons. These “prisons” are also sometimes referred to as the public schooling system. Luckily though, street youths can be avoided as long as no there is no need to travel on a bus between the hours of 2-4 pm.
3. Often confused with the street youths because of similar behavior, the drunken college kids are older and tend to travel in packs.
These “woo girls” are classified by overly emphasized excitement that could pertain to almost anything. They will not stop until they find an excuse to celebrate. Yet, guy or girl, their downfall in this dynamic is their extraordinarily short attention span and how they are usually oblivious to the outside world. Their though process is entertaining to watch unfold because it is comparable to a small child given a 48 pack of brand new, limited time collection of Crayola crayons. Everything is so fresh and new, they don’t stop to consider something for long before moving onto the next “color” or topic that might be in front of them. They are so focused on themselves and their own interests that they fail to identify anything going on outside their little clique.
4. There are the cute little old ladies.
People should show a little more respect and kindness to this group of public transportation patrons. Unlike all the other groups, they are the least problematic and most entertaining to watch. With a scarf over their head and a fold up cart leaning across their lap, the silently sit in the corner and just observe everything going on around them. They take it all in and silently judge everyone. Unlike the crazy hippies, they actually have room to criticize. This is because they have lived through it already. At one point they were probably one of the street youths or drunken students. They have already experienced the various life stages and can sympathize with others. They have likely had their wild days, even if they have forgotten what its like to be youthful.
5. Lastly, there are the angry business men.
Arguably the most ironic of the group, they pretend to hold themselves up to a higher standard then everyone else on the bus. They are judgmental and rude to everyone around them. Every thirty seconds or so they can be seen checking their watches, looking irritated that they have not invented the ability to time travel. These patrons are the ones who tap their feet in annoyance when the bus stops for a pedestrian. They tend to wear ugly black suits and have a very smug look on their face. They think they’re hot shit, but in reality are extremely similar to everyone around them. After all, they’re on the same boat (or bus technically).
