All my life I have been an introvert. It is fair to say that it has its share of disadvantages. For example, when you’re hanging out with your friend and then they bump into someone you’re unfamiliar with so you’re left there awkwardly watching them converse.
One of the worst disadvantages being an introvert, in my opinion, of course, is that we’re over thinkers. There’s this guy that’s literally in all of my courses for the semester except one and I’ve been wanting to talk to him for a while but I could never bring myself to do it. One of my friends introduced me to him and he’s exactly what I expected and more. He’s sweet, funny and nice. At the end of our brief conversation, he told me “don’t be a stranger.” Those four words got me to over analyze everything that night. A million questions went through my mind like “What if I say hi and he doesn’t say hi back?” or “he probably won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.”
As you probably predicted the next day, I didn’t say a single word to him. I didn’t even look in his direction. I hated myself for that, (not literally). I just hate the fact that I simply can’t just walk up to someone who i’ve wanted to get to know the entire spring semester. I hate the fact that I overanalyze everything. Most of all, I hate when situations turn into something more complicated than it needs to be. It was starting to seem like every time I got the opportunity to speak to him, I lose my composure and blow it. I either get all tongue tied, or lost in his words. The day I stand there blubbering idiot, is going to be one I’ll never let myself down.
For the few people that know me, I frequently say that I enjoy being alone. The reason is simple: I don’t have to deal with the expectations of others. When I’m in my own space, I am in control. I don’t have to worry about making a fool out of myself. I have absolute freedom to relax and think freely.
After all, an active mind, cannot exist in an inactive body.
The need for human connection is much greater than being completely isolated from people. It gets lonely. As an introvert, I came to the realization that making new friends isn’t easy as it may be for other people and that’s Ok. It just means that I have to try twice as hard. In the end, the effort that was made was worth it. You’ll have friends, and people whom you, hopefully, like to be around. Once you become well acquainted with people, you’ll won’t have to feel the need to hide who you truly are. Hopefully they’ll understand that sometimes you need your alone time to recharge your social battery. And that sometimes you’re a tad awkward in public.
But those quirks are the attributes that set you apart from everyone else. It’s what makes you who you are. Just be who you are, unapologitically.
