In a society where self-confidence is dwindling and the pressure to look perfect is on the rise, it’s hard for anyone to ever feel like they are doing well enough to be considered a functioning member of society. “If I had only studied harder…” or “if only I had tried a little harder, maybe…” are examples of common thoughts that run through the heads of countless people each day, especially those of us trying to find our place in the world. It is difficult to assign ourselves self-worth when, in comparison to others, our actions seem mediocre. This has created a constant desire to receive a stamp of validation from others, giving us confidence that our efforts to contribute to society are being recognized as worthwhile.
We seek out validation from others, but the problem with this lies in the root of the word itself: valid. To validate is to make something valid, to make something acceptable. In our society, others have the stamp of validation; others make us valid and acceptable. When we are valid to this society, we have value and worth. However, where does this societally-assigned value come from? We’ve created a society where we attempt to seek value from others in an attempt to make ourselves feel like we have worth.
Why do we need to look to others for validation? Since when are we no longer just enough for ourselves?
Validity needs to lie in our inner being: who we are, what we believe, how we act. It is not up to you or I to be the best, the smartest, the funniest, the prettiest. Validity should not lie in other's external judgements of who we appear to be. Rather, we are valid when we find ourselves to have worth. It is as simple and as complicated as that. Others see who we are on the outside before stamping us with approval; it is necessary for us to look inside at our soul and find our worth in who we are as a human being instead of just as the person we present to society.
It’s difficult to separate ourselves from the society in which we are surrounded. We cannot escape the advertisements telling us what we need to be a functional piece of society. There will always be someone who is more talented, smarter, conventionally beautiful, etc. We will not find this separation, so instead it’s time we start to consider our strengths instead of constantly comparing weaknesses. We are brilliant and beautiful. While our efforts to better the world may not be widespread, reaching only one person (even if this person is oneself) is enough. It is up to each person individually to take back the stamp of validation into possession and begin to recognize individual validity. It is time to stop relying on others for worth and find worth in ourselves. It is time to be enough for ourselves.
