The Spices On The Roast

The Spices On The Roast

A scene of creativity and brokenness straight from my soul.
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I'm a creative writing major, so writing for me is an expression of who I am. It’s a major part of my soul. Most of my articles have fallen under the creative non-fiction category. They’re based upon my thoughts and opinions and interests. I love writing them. But if I’m going to sit and write for hours (which I do often), fiction is my best outlet. So the following is a snippet of some of my fiction work. As a disclaimer, this is an edited version of a free-write I did for a class, and part of the prompt was to write it as one long run-on sentence. So I’m deeply sorry to all the grammar freaks out there. It is not grammatically correct and, if you know me, you know that hurts my soul. However, after trying to tweak it, I felt that changing it took away the flow and even a bit of the emotion. Since the format is different from anything else I’ve read or written, I didn’t want to change that and lose it’s uniqueness. It’s not quite poetry, not quite prose, but definitely a part of my soul.


“That’s not how you do that,” I tell Dad as he puts the roast into the crockpot, but without seasoning it first, so that it would come out dry instead of tender and juicy, falling apart just as this family is falling apart, as separate and lonely as the spices on the counter, which I toss to him, thinking he will catch them, out of habit, like he used to, but he doesn’t; he just lets them hit the counter and roll, dropping into the sink full of dirty dishes he told me to wash last night, but I forgot about and then he looks at me, questioning what I did that for, and it makes my heart sore that he doesn’t remember our old kitchen games, the way we used to goof off and joke around, the way we used to laugh, and I am reminded that so much of him has been lost now that Mom is gone, now that she’s moved out of our lives with all her boxes, I find she’s taken him too because he’s never here anymore, he’s never listening because he’s too busy missing her, and I hand him the carrots and celery and potatoes and onions I chopped, hoping he’ll forget to miss her sometime soon, that maybe he’ll remember I’m still here, that Grace is still here and that we still love him even though Mom doesn’t because she left for that stupid man with all his fancy suits and all those zeros at the end of his paycheck, but we didn’t leave and we’ve chosen his side, if sides must be taken, his was the only one we could take because he loved her, always loved her, and she got bored with that so she left for something more exciting, something more fulfilling, she said, but he had given her his everything and now he has to cook for us after work so we can do homework and stay away and try to ignore the emptiness in the house, and now I think there are tears hiding behind his eyes as he adds the spices and vegetables and sauces, covering the crockpot so the roast can sit overnight and be ready for Sunday lunch, if anyone decides to get up for Sunday lunch, since none of us go to church anymore, but that’s not important because he did it and he’s providing and for a brief, single moment I can see a tiny flash of hope as he turns to the dishes but doesn’t ask me to help because he seems to have forgotten I’m there or perhaps he wishes I would leave so he can cry in peace, but I don’t leave, I won’t leave, and I take up the towel to dry without being asked because I want him to know I’m still here, even though she’s not, and I’m not leaving him because I do still love him even when he forgets the spices on the roast.


Cover Image Credit: http://www.lovethispic.com

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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We can all make mistakes that we have made in our lifetime, right? Whether it was failing class or deciding to choose the wrong brand of clothing. Some mistakes were minor and some, well, not so much. At least we can sit back and learn from all the mistakes we have made in the past. However, don't you wish you had knew back then what you know now? So why not help out the ones there now? What would you tell your younger self? Here are 10 tips for the younger generation and trust me this is all from experience.

Actually do your homework- don’t give up especially for those ninth graders cause that’s how keep your gpa high enough so that if you screw up junior year, it won’t be that bad.

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On days when you have early nights where you can go to sleep, then go to sleep cause trust me, sooner or later you are going to realize that as you get older you start to stay up more due to stress or workload.

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If you are free during the summer, instead of just chilling at home and watching nonstop tv, might as well get a job. This way you’ll be active and it will make yourself feel really good about yourself when you don’t have to ask mom or dad for money.

If you get a job, this will make you teach yourself how to budget. You will be better prepared for the future compared to everyone else.

Bullies are only rude because they are just jealous- sp keep shining on.

Don’t wish to be out of school- you will soon regret it because then you will have to makeup a bunch of quizzes and tests.

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