As everyone says, the good are always taken too young. Up until a handful of months ago, I didn't realize how true that saying to be. Over the course of my high school years and my first year of college, I had seen too many people my age dying. Each one of these deaths made everything seem dreary and heartbreaking.
All of the deaths impacted close friends of mine, but never me directly. Then, God decided it was your time to join Him in heaven. Waking up to realize you were taken - far too soon - still seems surreal to this day. People say it gets easier over time, but if we're being honest, it hasn't for me and I don't think it will. Some days are fine and I'm able to carry out my life per usual, then there's the days all the emotions just hit me like monsoons that seem never ending: hurt, sadness, anger.
I'm hurt that you were taken before any of you friends or family could get one last goodbye. I'm hurt that I didn't get to hear your laugh one last time, or to see your goofy grin. I'm hurt that there's no more memories to make with you any longer, just old ones that I have to replay in my head when I'm missing you most. I'm hurt that I can't have late night talks with you any longer. I realize how selfish I sound when I say all of this, but I hurt most knowing I can't tell you how much you mean to me any longer.
The anger overwhelms me knowing the people that took you away from us are still living and breathing even though they were the ones to take your last breath. I'm angry that a soul as wonderful and beautiful as yours was taken so young, while millions of cruel people continue to live until they're 90. I'm angry that you don't get to attend college. I'm angry that you don't get to get married. I'm angry that you don't get to have children. I'm angry that you don't get to life your life out the way you should have.
I miss you so dearly, even in the short amount of time you've been gone, it seems like an eternity. I know you're safe and happy in heaven, no more pain or worry. I love when you paint the skies pink and purple on random mornings and nights just to remind us you're still by our side watching over us. Hearing a song that reminds me of you is always bittersweet, missing hearing you sing along to it but it always comes at the perfect time to remind me that you're in a better place.
Although your wings were ready, my heart was not. Although, yes, I am heartbroken to know you're gone, I also feel a sense of happiness knowing you're no longer in any pain and safe. I will continue to miss you, but until the time comes I'll remember that although we are apart now, we will soon meet again.
