It is unbelievable where our lives have taken us. We've grown apart. It's weird to me how we once were so close, so inseparable, but now it is almost like I don't know you. We grew up together and shared bonds with each other, but those bonds ultimately led to nothing.
Meghan, I lived in the same room with you for about 13 years and now I barely speak to you. After Amanda left for college, it was just you and me for about two years. Although I was only 13 or 14 years old, we hung out almost all the time. It wasn't weird at all to me because I wanted to hang out with you and your friends. You always wanted me around with your friends. You even let me go to your parties, even if they were at home and because you did not want me to tell Mom. The garage parties were fun, mostly because I was 14 years old and I felt cool because I was partying with high school kids when I was still in middle school.
But then you left for college once I finally got into high school. And it was different, a lot different since it was just mom and me left at home. But it was also cool for me because people would ask about you and I would say you go to a school in Montana and they would always want to talk about it. It was definitely a conversation starter for my freshmen year in high school. I was always so happy when you would come home on your breaks from college. We would get back to old times and it felt like nothing ever changed.
But then once I graduated from high school, our relationship changed. I could not tell you when or why because it was so gradual, I did not even notice it was happening until it really happened. I went off to college and then that was that. We no longer had a bond anymore, and I think it partially was my fault. I was so wrapped around my boyfriend at the time that I never let you in because you hated him so much that I hated you for hating him. And I pushed you away. It sucks that I let a guy get in the way of our sisterhood.
Although I could blame it all on a guy, I also think I just grew up and started standing up for myself. I no longer felt like I had to keep quiet about my feelings or my thoughts. I no longer felt like keeping my opinions to myself or letting you push me around. I eventually just became an adult and I wasn't a child anymore. When I was a child, that's when we had a bond, but then when I grew up that's when we truly drifted and we haven't been the same since.