LGBTQA+ rights and freedoms are one of the most popular topics in society today. It seems like every day you can scroll through Twitter and find a different celebrity sharing their "Coming Out Story". I think this is a truly beautiful thing, and I feel so blessed to live in a society where when people reveal their truths, they are welcomed into the Queer* community with open arms and a colorful flag of your choosing.
*Don't worry, we will be discussing the use of this term later on.
Everyone should be allowed to live as exactly who they want to be, and let's be real, who honestly gives a f*ck who you do or don't lay down with in bed at night? However, as the popularity of LGBTQA+ rights continues to sky-rocket, there are probably some terms and sexualities in the community that you've never heard of, or may be confused about.
...And that's where I come in!
(A fair warning that there is a lot of sarcasm present in this article, but please don't mistake humor for inconsideracy. I love and am so proud of EVERY member of the LGBTQA+ community.)
Queer:
This is a tricky term. A lot of people still don't feel comfortable saying it, because for so long is was heavily connected to so many negative feelings in the gay community. However, the LGBTQA+ community is taking it back!
Queer is now used as an umbrella-term of sorts to identify any/all members of the LGBTQA+ community. The general usage of this word is still tricky. I would not recommend calling someone "queer" unless they have specifically told you that it would be acceptable to use to describe them. This is also a term that is generally used inside the LGBTQA+ community, but you may get weird looks if you're a straight person who throws the word around a lot.
Romantic Attraction:
I want you to repeat after me: Sexual attraction is not the same as romantic attraction.
A huge misconception that has been around for forever, basically, is that if you are attracted to someone, it is automatically assumed that you want to have sex with them. But, surprise! You can be attracted to someone romantically, and not want to have sex with them at all!
Example: A man could identify as bisexual and hetero-romantic, this means he is sexually attracted to men and women, but only has romantic feelings for women.
Asexual:
People can feel no sexual attraction at all? WHAT? I mean, you have to like SOMEONE, right? (I hope you can sense all this sarcasm.)
If you haven't figured it out yet, asexuality happens when people feel no sexual attraction at all. None. They aren't asexual because they "haven't found the right person", or because they "had too many bad sexual experiences". They are asexual because they do not feel any sexual attraction towards anyone, ever.
Demisexual:
Demisexuals are people that can only be sexually attracted to people named Demi, obviously. (Hey Demi Lovato, where you at, girl? *smirking side-eye emoji*)
Demisexuality occurs when people can only feel sexual attraction towards someone after they have formed an emotional connection with them. This does not mean that they are "prudes" and just "don't put out". It means that they have to feel very close to someone in order want to have sex with them. In all honesty demisexuality is another term that can confuse a lot of people, mainly because it can be combined with other sexualities to make one SUPER DUPER sexuality.
Example: A woman could identify as demi-homosexual, this means that she is indeed demisexual and homosexual, but actually that she is sexually attracted to women, but only if she has formed an emotional bond with them.
Greysexual:
Greysexuality is when someone is only turned on when they read "Fifty Shades of Grey". Absolutely not. No. Yikes. Nope.
Greysexuality happens when someone sometimes has sexual feelings towards someone else, but usually doesn't. This does not mean that they are "confused asexuals" or "can't make up their minds". This, like demisexuality, can be combined with other sexualities.
Example: A woman could identify as grey-heterosexual, this means that she rarely feels sexual attraction to someone, but when and if she does, it only occurs towards men.
Pansexual:
You wanna have sex with cooking pans? What's next, flatware? SILVERWARE?!
Pansexuality is not being sexually attracted to cooking utensils. Someone considers themselves pansexual when they are attracted to all genders. Now you may be asking yourself "what's the difference between pansexuals and bisexuals"? Bisexuals feel attraction towards men and women. Pansexuals feel attraction towards men, women, trans men, trans women, those who identify as agender, genderfluid, and so on. Basically, pansexuals love everyone. However, this does not mean that they want to immediately sleep with everyone they come in to contact with. That is their personal preference, for them to decide.
I hope you have lived through all my horrible sexuality jokes, but more than that, I hope that this article has taught you how beautifully diverse our LGBTQA+ community is.
Now get out there and show your support for your LGBTQA+ siblings!
