Russia.

Home of irresistible accents, mail-order brides and, maybe, election fuckery.

Last Monday, Special Counsel Robert Mueller took two prominent members of the Trump campaign into custody on a laundry list of charges:

Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign chairman, and his associate, Rock Gates, face dozens of charges involved in the Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election. Among the list of charges were: conspiracy against the U.S, conspiracy to launder money to Ukrainian officials, and failure to register as an agent of a foreign government. Just one count of these money laundering charges (18 USC 1957) carries UP TO A DECADE BEHIND BARS.

How did Trump respond to Manafort and Gates being coerced into surrendering to authorities? Predictably, this way:

We shouldn’t really be surprised at the fact that Trump Tweeted with rage and fury about his guys getting indicted. This is the same guy that would blast Popeye’s if they made fun of KFC.

One name you heard in that was George Papadopoulos, a very low-level foreign policy member of the Trump campaign. He pled guilty of lying to FBI officials about Kremlin-related contacts. Trump called Papadopoulos an “excellent guy” and after he was fired, just a “low-level volunteer” and “liar.” The president just threw one of his former guys under the bus like your father would do to you after your mother found moist Kleenex tissues and lotion on the coffee table after she got home from Book Club. Incidentally, that’s likely the scene at the Comey household right now.

It’s becoming more and more clear that, with every passing day, Robert Mueller is not going to be relenting in this investigation. The heat is becoming even intense for networks broadcasting coverage of the investigation. Fox News, a mix of a news network and infomercials for male vitality, has had embarrassing coverage of this scandal so much so that they’ve sent text messages to CNN stating that they want to quit and that their network has become ‘an extension of the Trump White House.” Here’s what they’re pointing to, specifically:

Good lord, did Hannity enroll at Trump University and get voted captain of the cheerleading squad there? First, this is not a distraction from the “uranium scandal” that the Clintons may or may not have come up with, Second, HILLARY’S NOT THE PRESIDENT, YOU IMBECILE! This is not a distraction from anything but trying to get our country back from the depths you and your ilk sank it too!

Clearly, Trump cannot be trusted to truly debunk the Russian meddling into our recent presidential election, so we need somebody with a little more thick skin and less flaky brain to make sure we don’t fall victim to hacking AGAIN!

I’m beginning to think Putin has a “Pee Tape” on Hannity.

Moving on to…

Is Tucker Carlson Mentally Stable?