You're sitting there, scrolling away on Instagram, stalking David Dobrik and the Vlog Squad a little too aggressively. Quietly shedding a tear and wondering how you missed out on such an exciting life full of fame and Balenciaga sneakers. As you shove Hot Cheetos down your throat and lounge on your mediocre college futon, you're slightly discouraged. Social media really has you down, man.
For a minute it's all looking pretty amazing.
You see all the fun outfits and famous celebs. It's heartbreaking. Truly. You know you could ROCK a Gucci bandana just like GiGi Hadid, but yet you don't have the chance to.
You begin to realize if you were there at Coachella right now, breaking it down in the dance circle with Justin Bieber and Billie Eilish, you'd not only amaze them, but they'd instantly want you apart of their clique without question. So you become sad at your lack of resources to magically poof you to Cali, and you start to wonder. How good would I look in fishnets and glitter?
Probably fabulous, but possibly disastrous.
You scroll past Kylie and Kendall Jenner rocking the best outfits, all the youtube stars looking fun and fresh, and even James Charles appearing more snatched than you'll ever be. It really inspires you to save up your money and attend this phenomenon next year. You'd love nothing more than to stand for hours and hours amidst all the music and craziness. It looks like the best time of the year, right?
But, listen. Here's the reality of Coachella.
People spend a ridiculous amount of time and money to put together these outfits just to Instagram in them one time and be done (OK, I'd probably do the same, but that's beside the point here). I'm all about dressing cute for the gram, can't lie. Feel good, look good, am I right? But think of it this way, you're saving yourself the heartache of an empty bank account by not attending this infamous event! It's better this way. Not to mention the dry air out in sweet ole Cali. The festival looks nice in photos, but I've heard from many different influencers that talk about it who say it's extremely dry and dusty. Upper respiratory infection? No thank you! Skin dry and flaking off? I'll pass!
Not to mention the heat... I don't even wanna talk about the amount of sweat that cultivates between all these dancing bodies.
Like I might actually get sick thinking about it. Let's go ahead and skip over that, I'm sure you get the picture. Also, you pay hundreds of dollars for this festival and sometimes you don't even get to see your favorite artists perform because they'll be playing at separate stages at the same time, making it impossible to run all the way across the fairgrounds to go watch them. (Although, you best believe I'd be booking it if I paid hundreds to go see these people perform. But I'm just seriously not in shape enough for all that.
Reason number 123 that I don't need to go.) Also another big thing, the food, and drinks. Some people have said that the lines are so incredibly ridiculous and long that you literally have to stand there until you're 95 just to get a drink of water. Talk about parched. Seriously sounds like only the fittest survive there if you ask me. Is this the jungle book? I feel like we'd be fighting at the watering hole before we pass out from dehydration. And let's be honest, I probably wouldn't win. These brittle bones weren't made for competition.
The pricing of the food and drinks is just.. you don't even wanna know.
Like you already pay so much money just to get in, now you got to give your arm and leg for a Coke. Let's just say your wallet literally wants to put you in a choke hold after this weekend is over. Yes, Coachella looks glamorous and exciting (and probably is), but a lot of people who have gone can attest to the fact that it is over-hyped for really no reason.
It's a great social gathering with friends and I'm sure the music is amazing, but don't drive yourself crazy on social media wishing you were there. It's fine that you're not. Your time may come, unless you're like me and have no chance in ever going so you think of all the things that could possibly go wrong there to make yourself feel better. Yeah.
So basically this was an entire article to curve my jealously and convince myself that my mediocre college life is fine and I'd absolutely rather not be dancing with Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin to Post Malone. It's OK. Seriously, I'm fine.