Rape is real, and it is time for America to start talking about it. When someone brings up the topic of rape, or shares their own experience, we have been programed to think "oh no, let's change the subject. This is not something we're suppose to talk about". The stigma of rape is so deeply ingrained in American culture; people frequently don't even realize that their comments and reactions humiliate sexual assault victims. Typically, society insinuates disgrace upon the survivor, whom the perpetrator violated and exploited, insisting on silence. The media, court officials and attorneys must stop feeding the problem and become part of the solution. A move toward challenging the stigma of being raped by these and other high profile citizens could represent the spark that ignites the public at large to reject placing blame on victims. It's likely that you have some story of sexual assault pop into your head that goes a little something like this...

"A thin, young female wearing slightly provocative clothing is walking alone in a big city. As night approaches she decides to take a short cut through an ally because she knows being all by herself after dark puts her in a dangerous situation. The young woman notices she is being followed, and immediately panics. Que the middle aged scumbag that throws out some sleezy line. Andddd..*cut scene* The women was left laying in the ally with the garbage, beaten and traumatized. She was raped. End of story."

Yes, I'm sure that has happened, but there are other stories to be told. Somewhere out there is a woman that couldn't find the courage to yell louder, or to fight back harder, because she was embarrassed by the fact that THIS was happening to her. There may have even been people in the next room, but she was to ashamed to yell for help. She did not want to be a victim...but she was. What about the girl who knew she didn't have a chance in stopping it so she just laid there and let it happen? Is what happened to her not "real"?

Everyone hears about sexual assault, but no one ever truly believes it will happen to them until it does.
When a survivor brings up the topic, people respond with questions that suggests the attack was the fault of the victim: What time of day was it? What were you wearing? Were you alone? Had you been drinking?" The reaction victims receive leave them feeling ashamed, and blaming themselves for what happened. Most don't think they have the right to speak out because they weren't beaten an inch from death and left lying in an ally. Rape is real, but it isn't some made up bullshit that is told to scare women into behaving a certain way, or a desperate cry for attention. Rape is not just one story with different characters, and the story doesn't end after the attack.

For testimonials from sexual assault survivors, you can visit https://www.rainn.org . If you have more questions about rape, rape prevention, or how to cope, please go to http://www.womenshealth.gov or Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.