Last Monday night, I, along with 6.3 million other viewers, tuned into the final rose ceremony on “The Bachelorette” (and was super disappointed with Jojo’s ultimate decision). At some point between watching the "After The Final Rose" live talk show and the following night’s premiere of "Bachelor in Paradise" I began to wonder what the pull is that keeps me coming back each week to watch this so-called “reality” TV.
It’s no surprise that reality TV isn’t real; it’s a been-there-done-that topic. So, the revelation I had while watching The Bachelorette and its spinoff show, Bachelor in Paradise, didn’t have much to do with how neither show really represents reality. Rather, I was more interested in the bigger picture surrounding the idea. If it’s clear that reality TV is far from real, why are people so intent on watching it? Better yet, why do we insist on calling it and considering it to be reality when it’s so far from that? Such irony speaks lengths about the true reality of the modern day.
We all have our devices that we use to leave our real lives for a while. I probably need not confess but, as a writer, it's obvious that I’m rather guilty of using my writing to escape reality. Others binge-watch TV shows. Some are cinephiles. Teenagers in particular run to social media as an outlet. College students party the stress off. Some people smoke their worries away. No matter what it may be, we all have our little vices. Yes, some may be healthy like writing or running, but some are not-so healthy. It’s only natural; we all have our vices.
Our vices only become a problem when we let them control our vision; when they become lens through which we perceive reality. There are people out there who believe in the lies reality TV feeds us; they think that “The Bachelorette” truly is a good way to date, or that TLC’s sweetheart Duggar family is a sinless, perfect family. There are people who think that social media is the true determiner of reality, that photos on Instagram need to be picture-perfect so that their lives appear equally as amazing. There are people who don’t just go out every now and then to take the edge off, but they party every single day. Our vices only become a problem when we let them become our everyday reality.
A quick Google search told me that reality is “the world or the state of things as they actually exist,” and specifically, “as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.” So does reality even exist anymore? In a world where people allow their guilty pleasures to consume their everyday lives – where we let social media control what we say and reality TV to control what we think – it seems that reality is, ironically enough, the biggest fantasy of all.
Like I mentioned before, as a writer I’m in no place to revoke people of their right to daydream. And I am certainly not saying to stop watching your reality TV. I don’t think I’ll be giving up my Bachelor Mondays anytime soon. But I do think it’s important to hone in on the “TV” aspect of the phrase “reality TV” and less on the “reality” part of it. After all, it’s fine to fantasize every now and then. But it’s best to live in reality, live in the real world and to live in the moment.
