What is it actually?

Rape is sex you don’t agree to, including someone forcing a body part or object into your vagina, rectum (bottom), or mouth. Rape is not about sex—it is an act of power by the rapist and it is always wrong.

Sexual assault can be verbal, visual or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention.

Examples of this are voyeurism (when someone watches private sexual acts), exhibitionism (when someone exposes him/herself in public), incest (sexual contact between family members), and sexual harassment. It can happen in different situations, by a stranger in an isolated place, on a date, or in the home by someone you know.

Let's talk about Rapists:

When it comes to talking about rape we need to get real. Most rapists don't lurk under subway passes or hide in the shadows of an alley. Rapists are usually no strangers to their victims, they hunt where they're trusted.

Approximately 82 percent of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim and about 47 percent of all reported rapes are carried out by a friend or acquaintance. Rapists are predators.

And they're hard to lock up.

According to the Justice Department, National Crime Victimization Survey: 2008-2012, for every 100 rapes, only 32 were reported.

Of these 32 reported rapes, 7 of those will lead to an arrest and 3 are referred to prosecutors according to the FBI, Uniform Crime Reports(2006-2010) and Department of Justice, Felony Defendents in Large Urban Counties: 2009 reports clearly show that of these only 2 were served with felony convictions and only 2 were ever sent to prison.

Why do we keep forgetting Women of Color?

According to the Department of Justice, "approximately 40 percent of black women have reported coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18."

This outstanding issue is perpetuated by fetishizing black women. It fuels the notion that these women are willing participants in their own victimization. Myths about the sexualization of a race only serve to "demean, obstruct appropriate legal remedies, and minimize the seriousness of sexual violence perpetrated against African-American women."

Not to mention all the black women in jail considering the disproportionate amount of African-American women incarcerated each year, "there is an increased possibility she is or will be a victim of sexual violence in the form of inmate rape, sexual abuse, sexual extortion, and groping during body searches."

For Asian and Pacific Islander women, there tend to be lower rates of reported rape and other forms of sexual violence than do women and men from other minority backgrounds, "This may be accounted for because traditional Asian values may discourage them from disclosing such victimization, even in confidential settings.

Similar to other women of color, API women are subjected to derogatory and demeaning stereotypes. Myths that API women are 'submissive', 'elusive' and/or 'sexually available' make API women vulnerable to pervasive sexual harassment in the workplace, religious institutions, in school, and by law enforcement."

Similarly, the Department of Justice points out how Hispanics/Latinas have higher rates of incarceration than European American women. They're actually incarcerated four times more, which means there is a higher chance that they will become a victim of sexual violence and it decreases her chances that she’ll seek help and legal recourse.

Hispanic and Latina women are fetishized as well but, unfortunately, their most pressing stereotype is the ignorant belief that all Hispanics/Latinas are in the USA illegally and speak the same language which "preclude victim service providers and law enforcement from providing appropriate assistance, as well as deter victims from reporting their abuse or seeking help."

The scariest statistics come into play when talking about indigenous women. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates "that one of three Native American women will be raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime, making the average annual rate of rape and sexual assault among American Indians 3.5 times higher than for all other races."

Ninety-two percent of American Indian girls who have had sexual intercourse reported having been forced against their will to have sex, but "within Indian Country, a lack of awareness and resources results in NA/AI tribes failing to adequately address sexual violence or make perpetrators fully accountable."

You can ALWAYS say no.

I'm serious... ALWAYS.

Maybe you said yes before but don't want to have sex now, you can say no now. Maybe he's your boyfriend or even your husband, that's OK, you can still say no. Even if you feel like you "put yourself in this situation," you can say no.

It is your body, your choice. Having sex with someone is a choice. There is nothing on the planet that can force a person to give up bodily autonomy.

Let's say you were in a car crash and have been pronounced dead, they still cannot take your organs if you aren't an organ donor. Even if your organs and parts could save 20 lives they cannot use your body without your consent -- even if it saves lives. So, you're telling me that some grimy coward deserves more of a right to your body than a dead person has to theirs? Never, because it's your body.

You are a person, not a sex doll. You are not an object to be used at the whimsy of a predator. If you say no and they don't listen -- that is not normal, that is the behavior of a rapist.

Purposefully trying to intoxicate someone because you know it will influence their likelihood of having sex with you is predatory, and if she does have sex with you -- that's rape. Having sex with a girl that's unconscious at a party because it doesn't matter if she's not awake? That's rape. Forcing someone down while they're saying no -- that's rape. It's not hard to see nor is it hard to decipher unless you are a rapist.

It's pretty simple really. You never have more of a right to someone's body than they do -- and if you think you do -- under any circumstance, you are a rapist.