What I am referring to is the derogatory term "retarded," and to be quite honest I cringe even while typing it. I have never held such disdain towards a word that it nearly brings tears my eyes when I hear it. I am sure there are some people reading this who, like many others,simply don't think it is a big deal. I encourage anyone that feels that way to continue reading and delve into an alternative perspective, the perspective of someone who is a big sister to a special needs child.
I remember distinctly being in elementary school and learning my baby brother had Autism. At such a young age I couldn't comprehend such a diagnosis. All I ever knew was that he was a little different and in the four years he'd been on this Earth, he'd never spoken a word. The language barrier between him and the world was widening and seven year old me was determined to bridge that gap. The next few years that followed his diagnosis consisted of me playing the role of translator, essentially I was my brother's voice and I haven't stopped being it since.
To introduce to you through text, my brother, I introduce to you my undying affection for him and my need to keep him out of harm's way. Now, at 11 years old, he has found his own voice to which I still aggressively defend whether in his presence or not which brings me to the use of the "r" word.
Amongst my peers you will find friends who have graciously removed the word from their vocabulary out of respect for my own feelings. Whenever anyone says the "r" word I wince and like a reflex I respond with "that isn't a nice word." It has become second nature for me to combat the use of that term, so much so that I am well known for it. I have been told that my peers find themselves apologizing for their words even in my absence.
The truth of the matter is that the word retarded is not synonymous to stupid or dumb and to use it as so is an insult to all those afflicted with intellectual disabilities. It is demeaning to not only the character but the humanity of those with special needs. To use it as an insult only further establishes disgusting stereotypes about people with disabilities. If you insist on such a term being a part of your vocabulary I encourage you to meet those the people it negatively affects. From a personal perspective, I reinforce the retirement of the "r" word because the halls I walk down are the same halls my brother will too someday and I never want him to feel like the center of a joke or a less valued member of humanity.
Medically the word is no longer used but it once referred to limitations on emotional and intellectual development and now is used as a derogatory label, one that hurts and separates the special needs community. My brother is silly, compassionate, and smart in ways even I do not understand; Autism and its social and intellectual delays do not overwhelm those qualities. I hope that after reading this you have grown a sense of understanding in regards to the use of the word retarded.
Next time it slips from your mouth or you even think about using it, stop and take a look around. Ask yourself what you are really trying to communicate and if that is the appropriate adjective. Think to yourself and question "Who could I possibly be hurting?"
