The Pros And Cons Of A 'Good' Divorce, As Told By A Child Of One
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Pros And Cons Of A 'Good' Divorce, As Told By A Child Of One

All divorces aren't bad, this is my story of a "good" one.

300
The Pros And Cons Of A 'Good' Divorce, As Told By A Child Of One
Julie Cocke

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” Jennifer Weiner’s quote really speaks to me personally. My parents were not teaching the right values of love, so when they split, it made life easier on everyone.

Divorce is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the ending of a marriage by a legal process." Of course, it is so much more than that. It is separating, moving, changing, growing, and learning. It is so many aspects all wrapped up into one. However, there is sunshine behind the rain. Divorce changed my family about nine years ago. It is not been a bad divorce. Divorce is a part of my life that I keep very close when it comes to my family.

The happiness of my family all really depends on how my parents get along. Growing up and having divorced parents is not fun, easy or any of the other names it is called, but like all parts of life, it has its perks and its downfalls. Divorce really speaks to me because of how much it changed my family, for the better. Divorce, to me, is defined as completely redesigning your family.

My definition of divorce may differ from what someone else thinks. I can define divorce with some positive, while another may define it with all anger or sadness. My input of some happy is a good thing. My parents do not have any bad grudges against each other and they are always civil with each other.

My dad and stepdad are also civil towards each other now too. They are not ever going to be best friends but that is perfectly okay. I am very happy with my life as it is now. That is why I am very proud that I am able to put happiness into my definition of divorce. My family changed so drastically that it was emotionally draining. It was not all bad, though. There are “good” divorces and there are “bad” divorces. I was lucky enough to have a “good” divorce.

Whoever said divorce was all bad obviously has not been through the divorce my family had. My parents have always been civil with each other for the most part. So many happy things can come from a “good” divorce. When my parents divorced, of course, I was upset, but I knew that this could be a new start for both my mom and my dad. My mom has a great husband now who is really good for her. I am very happy for the both of them. He brought with him a whole new family. My dad is also doing very well for himself. My dad has his own house and actually is not doing that bad for himself. He has a decent job, too. Divorce brought so much more pros than it did cons. When this all happened, I did not expect to have any major changes, and I would never have thought that my life would be this different. We get two birthdays, two Christmases, two everything! Now, it is not all about presents and money and material belongings, it is about our happiness. Both of my parents are so much happier now that they are apart. My siblings and I are much happier now. Our lives are so much better for everyone.

The definition of divorce does not truly show all that goes on in a divorce. There is separating, switching, changing, and entire life shifts. Everyone talks about going through a divorce is easy, and it is not. It is the exact opposite of easy, it is awful. There is separating every little detail about their lives. There is switching between my dad’s and my mom’s. There is changing details about all the small, insignificant parts of life. There are so many changing parts when one starts the process that it makes the end product seem so much better. That is where I am now -- the end product.

The end product of a divorce is, of course, a completely different life. A changing of every little piece of life. We have to plan, move, and grow, and it is not easy to do. Life changes and that is okay. Change can be a good thing. Changes in life can lead to such great new aspects. Like a change in life, a change in a family can be just as good. A change in my family led to a whole new family and a whole new life. There are also cons to all the pros, but the pros, outweigh the cons.

Honestly the only real cons to divorce is the unhappiness up until the point of separation. There is so much sadness until that point, but it becomes better after the separation. Another con is that your family is completely torn apart and pulled several different directions. Also, every part of your life has been uprooted and moved around and shifted and changed and warped. Those are really the only true cons to divorce and separation of families. There are more pros than cons.

When people say that divorce is rough on kids, they are not lying, but it is not just horrible. It is a compromise, work and care. Divorce is so much more than anger and tears, there is love and compassion that can come out of a divorce. There is always a bright side of life. Always look to see the brighter parts of life, especially when going through a divorce. One always just needs to try to be happy and optimistic. It always gets better. Life goes on, probably better than before. Just remember when dealing with divorce, do not stress the little parts. Live life and move on. Divorce is not just rain, there is a sunny side, just have to find it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55189
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35551
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957623
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

185065
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments