“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” Jennifer Weiner’s quote really speaks to me personally. My parents were not teaching the right values of love, so when they split, it made life easier on everyone.
Divorce is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the ending of a marriage by a legal process." Of course, it is so much more than that. It is separating, moving, changing, growing, and learning. It is so many aspects all wrapped up into one. However, there is sunshine behind the rain. Divorce changed my family about nine years ago. It is not been a bad divorce. Divorce is a part of my life that I keep very close when it comes to my family.
The happiness of my family all really depends on how my parents get along. Growing up and having divorced parents is not fun, easy or any of the other names it is called, but like all parts of life, it has its perks and its downfalls. Divorce really speaks to me because of how much it changed my family, for the better. Divorce, to me, is defined as completely redesigning your family.
My definition of divorce may differ from what someone else thinks. I can define divorce with some positive, while another may define it with all anger or sadness. My input of some happy is a good thing. My parents do not have any bad grudges against each other and they are always civil with each other.
My dad and stepdad are also civil towards each other now too. They are not ever going to be best friends but that is perfectly okay. I am very happy with my life as it is now. That is why I am very proud that I am able to put happiness into my definition of divorce. My family changed so drastically that it was emotionally draining. It was not all bad, though. There are “good” divorces and there are “bad” divorces. I was lucky enough to have a “good” divorce.
Whoever said divorce was all bad obviously has not been through the divorce my family had. My parents have always been civil with each other for the most part. So many happy things can come from a “good” divorce. When my parents divorced, of course, I was upset, but I knew that this could be a new start for both my mom and my dad. My mom has a great husband now who is really good for her. I am very happy for the both of them. He brought with him a whole new family. My dad is also doing very well for himself. My dad has his own house and actually is not doing that bad for himself. He has a decent job, too. Divorce brought so much more pros than it did cons. When this all happened, I did not expect to have any major changes, and I would never have thought that my life would be this different. We get two birthdays, two Christmases, two everything! Now, it is not all about presents and money and material belongings, it is about our happiness. Both of my parents are so much happier now that they are apart. My siblings and I are much happier now. Our lives are so much better for everyone.
The definition of divorce does not truly show all that goes on in a divorce. There is separating, switching, changing, and entire life shifts. Everyone talks about going through a divorce is easy, and it is not. It is the exact opposite of easy, it is awful. There is separating every little detail about their lives. There is switching between my dad’s and my mom’s. There is changing details about all the small, insignificant parts of life. There are so many changing parts when one starts the process that it makes the end product seem so much better. That is where I am now -- the end product.
The end product of a divorce is, of course, a completely different life. A changing of every little piece of life. We have to plan, move, and grow, and it is not easy to do. Life changes and that is okay. Change can be a good thing. Changes in life can lead to such great new aspects. Like a change in life, a change in a family can be just as good. A change in my family led to a whole new family and a whole new life. There are also cons to all the pros, but the pros, outweigh the cons.
Honestly the only real cons to divorce is the unhappiness up until the point of separation. There is so much sadness until that point, but it becomes better after the separation. Another con is that your family is completely torn apart and pulled several different directions. Also, every part of your life has been uprooted and moved around and shifted and changed and warped. Those are really the only true cons to divorce and separation of families. There are more pros than cons.
When people say that divorce is rough on kids, they are not lying, but it is not just horrible. It is a compromise, work and care. Divorce is so much more than anger and tears, there is love and compassion that can come out of a divorce. There is always a bright side of life. Always look to see the brighter parts of life, especially when going through a divorce. One always just needs to try to be happy and optimistic. It always gets better. Life goes on, probably better than before. Just remember when dealing with divorce, do not stress the little parts. Live life and move on. Divorce is not just rain, there is a sunny side, just have to find it.
